Romero
Her royal court joker
I try to say something but I'm so lost for words. And I have a tear in my eye.
What are you thinking? (Part 2)
- Thread starter Romero
- Start date
tremor
4 itchy tasty
Alright guys, before I go any further I want to thank you ALL for your love and support. I appreciate it more than you guys will ever know. And before you read the rest of this and think that I wimped out and didn't honor my mother's wishes, I should make something clear. My mom made me promise her a while back that the ONLY reason why I should take her off of a ventilator or life support is IF there's no hope for her and I will need to feel that in my gut. She always told me that when I get weird feelings about things in my gut, to always listen to them. And I have. They've never been wrong.
Okay, so as you guys know, my best friend's mom was the one who went to the hospital to see her this morning. Well, about an hour passed and I got a phone call and she told me that my mom was ten times worse than she was yesterday. She wouldn't do anything but stare straight ahead and moan. My friend's mom even grabbed her by the face and asked her "girl look at me and tell me you are okay" and she just looked right through her. The nurse had taken my friend's mom aside and told her that she had a bad feeling about this and she felt like something needed to be done soon. Well, about 15-20 minutes after I get off of the phone, I get another phone call and I'm being told that my mom has been rushed to ICU (Intensive Care Unit). The nurse issued a "code blue". My mother had stopped breathing on her own, from what I understand.
At this point, I was told to shower and get dressed because I needed to be at the hospital because my presence was being requested by the ICU personnel. I am the only one in this family that can make decisions on my mom's behalf. My stepdad and mom aren't married and my brother isn't old enough to make decisions.
The only decision I've had to make today is giving the nurses my consent to give my mother blood. These dumbass nurses and doctors in the other section of the hospital, apparently weren't keeping a close enough eye on her because my mother lost HALF of the blood in her body. What kind of **** is that?!
Let me tell you. NOTHING can prepare you for rounding a corner into an ICU room and seeing what I saw. They hadn't sedated her yet because they were trying to get her blood pressure up to a point where they could without the sedation harming her. I come around the corner and my mother has the ventilation tube down her throat, her mouth wide open, and she's gagging because of it. On top of that, she looked me dead in the eye and her eyes widened and the alarm went off indicating that she was panicking. I KNOW what that meant..I know my mom. That look was "Oh ****! I did NOT want my daughter to see me like this." Let me tell you, there isn't much in this world that scares me. But seeing my mother like that, scared me to death. I nearly fainted. I had to turn away from her and just rub her leg because I had to get my **** together.
I know all of this crap sounds absolutely horrible and it IS. But the good thing is that she has improved since this morning. She's still sedated, and before I left they had already given her three pints of blood. Her blood pressure is improving and she's starting to breathe on her own a little bit. She's also responding to noise. And when I told her that I loved her, a tear fell. I made sure I told her to fight like hell. She's such a tough woman and I don't want her thinking that this is the end. She can make it out of this. And the people that are taking care of her are excellent.
Now, I feel like this crap could have been avoided if her damn doctor had made more of an effort. When I spoke to the doctor yesterday, she was acting like she didn't even want to be in the room answering my questions. She treated my mother like a mental patient and like i was lying about everything. Who the hell does something like that? I WILL be writing a letter to the administrator of this hospital about this doctor and I'll be making sure that my mother has no further contact with her. The woman better pray to whatever god she believes in, and if she doesn't believe in a god then she better just hope I don't see her at that hospital because I might show her exactly what I think of her. She could have killed my mother. That's how serious this is. How the hell did she become a doctor anyway??
I have to end this post here because I'm just mentally exhausted and I can't really think straight right now. Again, thank you guys for your love and support. Thank you sooo much.
Okay, so as you guys know, my best friend's mom was the one who went to the hospital to see her this morning. Well, about an hour passed and I got a phone call and she told me that my mom was ten times worse than she was yesterday. She wouldn't do anything but stare straight ahead and moan. My friend's mom even grabbed her by the face and asked her "girl look at me and tell me you are okay" and she just looked right through her. The nurse had taken my friend's mom aside and told her that she had a bad feeling about this and she felt like something needed to be done soon. Well, about 15-20 minutes after I get off of the phone, I get another phone call and I'm being told that my mom has been rushed to ICU (Intensive Care Unit). The nurse issued a "code blue". My mother had stopped breathing on her own, from what I understand.
At this point, I was told to shower and get dressed because I needed to be at the hospital because my presence was being requested by the ICU personnel. I am the only one in this family that can make decisions on my mom's behalf. My stepdad and mom aren't married and my brother isn't old enough to make decisions.
The only decision I've had to make today is giving the nurses my consent to give my mother blood. These dumbass nurses and doctors in the other section of the hospital, apparently weren't keeping a close enough eye on her because my mother lost HALF of the blood in her body. What kind of **** is that?!
Let me tell you. NOTHING can prepare you for rounding a corner into an ICU room and seeing what I saw. They hadn't sedated her yet because they were trying to get her blood pressure up to a point where they could without the sedation harming her. I come around the corner and my mother has the ventilation tube down her throat, her mouth wide open, and she's gagging because of it. On top of that, she looked me dead in the eye and her eyes widened and the alarm went off indicating that she was panicking. I KNOW what that meant..I know my mom. That look was "Oh ****! I did NOT want my daughter to see me like this." Let me tell you, there isn't much in this world that scares me. But seeing my mother like that, scared me to death. I nearly fainted. I had to turn away from her and just rub her leg because I had to get my **** together.
I know all of this crap sounds absolutely horrible and it IS. But the good thing is that she has improved since this morning. She's still sedated, and before I left they had already given her three pints of blood. Her blood pressure is improving and she's starting to breathe on her own a little bit. She's also responding to noise. And when I told her that I loved her, a tear fell. I made sure I told her to fight like hell. She's such a tough woman and I don't want her thinking that this is the end. She can make it out of this. And the people that are taking care of her are excellent.
Now, I feel like this crap could have been avoided if her damn doctor had made more of an effort. When I spoke to the doctor yesterday, she was acting like she didn't even want to be in the room answering my questions. She treated my mother like a mental patient and like i was lying about everything. Who the hell does something like that? I WILL be writing a letter to the administrator of this hospital about this doctor and I'll be making sure that my mother has no further contact with her. The woman better pray to whatever god she believes in, and if she doesn't believe in a god then she better just hope I don't see her at that hospital because I might show her exactly what I think of her. She could have killed my mother. That's how serious this is. How the hell did she become a doctor anyway??
I have to end this post here because I'm just mentally exhausted and I can't really think straight right now. Again, thank you guys for your love and support. Thank you sooo much.
tremor
4 itchy tasty
You're more than welcome Romero. I wanted you guys to know, since ya'll have shown so much concern. If we need to, we can all just get together and have one big group hug lol. Seeing my mom like that...that's one thing I hope none of ya'll ever have to see. It's one thing seeing a friend or another family member like that but it's just different when it's your mother. That is a piece of you, laying there like that. When I came around that corner, I felt like someone had just ripped my heart out of my chest. It was the worst thing I have ever seen in my life.
Venomous Oddball
Also Known as Maddy
Who the hell hired that doctor in the first place!?
Anyway. Thank god you got there when you did and that she's doing better. I feel bad for not saying anything to your previous post, I just couldn't figure out what to say, but you've been on my mind the whole time (that actually sounds kind of creepy). <3
tremor
4 itchy tasty
I kind of have that affect on people *wiggles eyebrows* (hey, as long as my sense of humor is intact, ya'll know I'm okay lol)
What's crazy is that nurses and doctors don't usually ask for consent over the telephone but it was so urgent that they had no choice but to have my best friend's mom call me and put me on the phone with them.
I appreciate it Maddy and don't feel bad for not saying anything to my previous post. I know that sometimes when you see or hear certain things, it's hard to figure out what to say. I understand completely. <3
Jen
Girly Gamer
I think that gut feelings are there for a reason. We don't think you wimped out at all - you know what's best and you didn't give up. I'm glad to hear that your mom is doing better. You're handling this so well. Hang in there, you're doing great. <3
Spikeyroxas
Pencil Artist
I'd definitely kick off about this, the need to understand patient neglect can't ever happen again, especially in this situation.
Can you ask for a staff transfer?
Can you ask for a staff transfer?
Springhosen
Kahnum of Outworld
You didn't wimp out and you didn't dishonor your mother's wishes. She said she didn't want a ventilator if there was no chance of her coming back. So far as I know, no one had said she won't/can't come back from this.
You did the right thing.
You did the right thing.
Storyofmylife
The watchful protector.
I just read through all of those posts and had a flurry of emotions. I can't imagine what you're going through Trems, but I'm sorry the doctors/nurses are such dumb dicks. I'm here for you if you ever need me. We're all here ! I wish I could give you a big giant hug right now. Gosh darnit internet! Why haven't they invented a way for me to come through the computer?
tremor
4 itchy tasty
Well. The one good thing I've heard all day is that my mom does not have cancer. My mother was misdiagnosed atleast twice by other doctors in this hospital. The doctor I spoke to today, is one of the best I have ever come into contact with. He really knows what he's doing. I listened to him give his report outside of her room and he is checking out every possible direction he can think of. I like that.
My mom is still on the ventilator and it's breathing for her 100% right now. She's still sedated, but only enough to keep her comfortable. She's still bleeding but they're keeping a very close eye on that. They're also draining blood from her stomach and rectum (it's a black, tarry color so it's old blood). It freaked me out at first seeing all of that but when I asked, that's what they told me it was. There's no telling how long it's been there though..
The whole "do not resuscitate" thing was brought up today but what you have to understand here is that ICU nurses and doctors have to be very straight forward with people about the patients. I was told that anything could happen, at any moment and even though we aren't necessarily at a point where they need to worry about a "DNR", it would be best if I go ahead and sign the paperwork if that's what I decided to do. Now, even though I know what my mother's wishes are. I also know that something is pulling at my gut big time. Something is telling me not to sign the DNR paperwork. I want to fight for her. I want to give her a chance. I know how I am and I know that if I was to sign that paperwork and something ended up happening...I would never forgive myself and there would always be that thought in the back of my head, "well what if they had resuscitated her and she had lived?"
The part that's bothering me right now is that she was responding to noises and the light yesterday but today there was no response at all. Her pupils won't dilate when they shine any light on them and she isn't moving at all. This doesn't really mean that it'll always be like that. My friend's mom talked to me a lot today about when her late husband was in ICU for two weeks and for a while he was just like this. The doctors told her that her husband wasn't going to make it but he ended up living for another year (the only reason why it was just a year is because he did have cancer).
I know that not everyone believes in spirituality and whatnot but I'm not the only one who has noticed that when you enter my mom's ICU room, there is a strange feeling in the room. Someone is watching over my mother. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm crazy for that or not. I could give a sh!t less to be honest with you. I believe what I want to believe and it gives me comfort.
I know I'm thanking ya'll a whole lot but I'm going to keep on thanking ya'll for your love and support. And like @Storyofmylife , I wish I could jump through the computer and hug each one of you guys <3
EDIT: I just got off of the phone with one of the ICU nurses. I gave my consent for an endoscope tomorrow. I don't know what time yet. I was told to call tomorrow morning to find out more details.
My mom is still on the ventilator and it's breathing for her 100% right now. She's still sedated, but only enough to keep her comfortable. She's still bleeding but they're keeping a very close eye on that. They're also draining blood from her stomach and rectum (it's a black, tarry color so it's old blood). It freaked me out at first seeing all of that but when I asked, that's what they told me it was. There's no telling how long it's been there though..
The whole "do not resuscitate" thing was brought up today but what you have to understand here is that ICU nurses and doctors have to be very straight forward with people about the patients. I was told that anything could happen, at any moment and even though we aren't necessarily at a point where they need to worry about a "DNR", it would be best if I go ahead and sign the paperwork if that's what I decided to do. Now, even though I know what my mother's wishes are. I also know that something is pulling at my gut big time. Something is telling me not to sign the DNR paperwork. I want to fight for her. I want to give her a chance. I know how I am and I know that if I was to sign that paperwork and something ended up happening...I would never forgive myself and there would always be that thought in the back of my head, "well what if they had resuscitated her and she had lived?"
The part that's bothering me right now is that she was responding to noises and the light yesterday but today there was no response at all. Her pupils won't dilate when they shine any light on them and she isn't moving at all. This doesn't really mean that it'll always be like that. My friend's mom talked to me a lot today about when her late husband was in ICU for two weeks and for a while he was just like this. The doctors told her that her husband wasn't going to make it but he ended up living for another year (the only reason why it was just a year is because he did have cancer).
I know that not everyone believes in spirituality and whatnot but I'm not the only one who has noticed that when you enter my mom's ICU room, there is a strange feeling in the room. Someone is watching over my mother. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm crazy for that or not. I could give a sh!t less to be honest with you. I believe what I want to believe and it gives me comfort.
I know I'm thanking ya'll a whole lot but I'm going to keep on thanking ya'll for your love and support. And like @Storyofmylife , I wish I could jump through the computer and hug each one of you guys <3
EDIT: I just got off of the phone with one of the ICU nurses. I gave my consent for an endoscope tomorrow. I don't know what time yet. I was told to call tomorrow morning to find out more details.
Last edited:
Romero
Her royal court joker
It's a relief to hear it's not cancer. But the doctors have no idea why she's not reacting to light? Perhaps sedative drugs plays a part in it.
Something I don't get is why they needed your approval before they gave her blood. When she had lost about half of her blood there should be no question that she needed refill ASAP. It sounds very urgent so why did they need to call you and ask before they started?
About that strange feeling in the room, someone or something could be watching over her.
Something I don't get is why they needed your approval before they gave her blood. When she had lost about half of her blood there should be no question that she needed refill ASAP. It sounds very urgent so why did they need to call you and ask before they started?
Listen to your gut. It's never too late to stop life support, but once stopped there is no way back. You said she didn't want to stay on life support if there was no hope for her to come back, and I think there is still much hope left. I don't think you should sign those papers already. It doesn't sound safe.
About that strange feeling in the room, someone or something could be watching over her.
Venomous Oddball
Also Known as Maddy
Don't give up. It sounds like she's in good hands with this doctor.
I believe someone is watching over your mom too. You don't sound crazy at all. When you know something/someone is there, you know.
Mr Sunshine
Well-Known Member
Wow, tremor i have no words. Stay strong
Stay strong
tremor
4 itchy tasty
They have to have consent from the next of kin in cases like that because they have to cover themselves, as in, being sued for something. Like, say...they didn't ask me consent to do the endoscope and took it upon themselves to do it. With the state she's in right now, what they're doing is very dangerous but it's incredibly important that they find out where the source of the bleeding is coming from as soon as possible. They ask for consent, in case something goes wrong. If they don't ask for consent and something goes wrong, the family could get angry and decide to sue, you see? I know that this procedure is very dangerous, given the state she's in right now. But I'm willing to take that risk, to find out where the blood is coming so they can fix it. I trust that these people will do everything that they possibly can to figure this out.
I'm sucking down some coffee so I can head up to the hospital and find out what's going on. I'll let you guys know what's going on as soon as I can.
Now when my friend's mom went back to the hospital last night, she sat and talked to my mom for a while (patients can still hear you when they're sedated). At one point my friend's mom stood up and opened my mom's eyes and said "Everything is going to be okay. The kids and their stepdad found a house to move in to and the doctors said you do not have cancer. If you can hear me, let me know that you can, somehow." My mom's eyes dilated and tears welled up in her eyes. No lie. So, there ya go. Crazy things happen in situations like this. My mom is still fighting like hell, just like I knew she would.
Last edited:
tremor
4 itchy tasty
My mom opened her eyes and looked at me and while I had my hand over hers, she kept trying to move her fingers so she could rub my hand Also, the endoscope showed a bleeding ulcer in her stomach and it has been capped. That was done about 8am this morning and so far there hasn't been anymore bleeding from her stomach. Now they're just working on the rest. Baby steps!
Today has been a good day and I'm hoping that things continue to improve.
EDIT: There's this really handsome nurse who will come up to me everytime he spots me and asks how I'm feeling and if there's anything he can do for me. Heh..heh......heh....... :suggestive: behave Tremor.....
Also, the endoscope showed a bleeding ulcer in her stomach and it has been capped. That was done about 8am this morning and so far there hasn't been anymore bleeding from her stomach. Now they're just working on the rest. Baby steps!Today has been a good day and I'm hoping that things continue to improve.
EDIT: There's this really handsome nurse who will come up to me everytime he spots me and asks how I'm feeling and if there's anything he can do for me. Heh..heh......heh....... :suggestive: behave Tremor.....
Last edited:
Romero
Her royal court joker
It's regrettable that doctors can't just go ahead and do what is obviously necessary without fearing a lawsuit. This means they are letting unqualified people decide what's best for patients. This may not be too bad when the next of kin are normal sane people, but what if they are crazy? Or even worse, they could be evil and not want the best for the patient.
Aww that's beautiful.
Thanks darlin'. Now gimme some candy.
Last edited:
tremor
4 itchy tasty
Unfortunately there have been many cases in this country where people tend to get a little carried away when it comes to sueing people.
Now if a doctor or nurse can't get ahold of the next of kin, they will do what they think is best for the patient. I'm pretty sure that people go through intense training and screening procedures in order to become a nurse or a doctor. But there have been cases where doctors have, in so many words, killed a patient and been sued for it. This is the first time I've been exposed to all kinds of medical stuff so I'm relying on my friend's mom a lot when I have questions about things. If it hadn't been for her, I would've gone insane by now. I'm only telling you what I've already asked her LOL.
Venomous Oddball
Also Known as Maddy
My mom opened her eyes and looked at me and while I had my hand over hers, she kept trying to move her fingers so she could rub my hand
Today has been a good day and I'm hoping that things continue to improve.
EDIT: There's this really handsome nurse who will come up to me everytime he spots me and asks how I'm feeling and if there's anything he can do for me. Heh..heh......heh....... :suggestive: behave Tremor.....
This makes me so happy. I know I don't actually personally know you and I don't even know anything about her, but both you and her are awesome! I'm known for being heartless, but I'm so glad she's doing better.