Man, I've been sitting on this thread for over an hour and I don't know from were to start.
It just happens that today i realised I haven't made any progress at all regarding my sociality. I have fallen to to same trap for the 3543th time. I've been lately thinking of a girl so much that she eventually became one of those people that I feel totally uncomfortable hanging out with. All the previous times this happened it ended up in failure. I know this one will go the same way.
It sucks that that I fall in such a strong love with every girl I like. It shouldn't be that way. They don't see it that way. By the time they notice I'm not making a move they'll just say "yes" to the first guy that comes to them and that is the part I hate the most. I am jealous. I can't stand watching them with another guy. And it's not like that the trick will work and I will eventually talk to them. No, not at all. I'll just go home and start cursing at myself for I've been an idiot for yet another time.
(Actually, that is not true. The worst part is when you waste your precious time thinking of all this stuff when in fact you should be having fun or doing something productive like studying.)
And why don't they make the first move? It is said that women are on rampage as hunters those days, yet not a single one of them has ever come to me. I have no clue what's going on. Maybe it's the fact that when I'm feeling uncomfortable I get this serious(nearly hating) look that leaves little place for someone to approach me. It must be reflecting as snob. I just have to relax and smile more when in fact I don't feel like it.
I keep telling to myself that I shouldn't take those things too seriously, but today I was reminded sooo many things from the past. The mere idea that I might be the same scares me.
