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cheezMcNASTY

cheezMcNASTY

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Entertain me. 34 From Underground
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  • La Femme Fatale
    Teeth. What do ya think of them?
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    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    IT'S NOT A TRAP TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF TEETH, DAMMIT!
    • Like
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    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    I happen to encounter quite a few teeth. By and large they come off as tough and are unattractivye on the inside.

    Like, if you think about it, your jaw does most of the work and they just sit there like a bunch of pigeons. They demand attention daily and still don't usually make it all the way to the end. When they do give up on you, it's expensive. If you like teeth, you probably need to reconsider your friends.
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    Romero
    Romero
    Ohh ok. The teeth are the millstones of your digestive system and most people don't give them enough attention. Sometimes your teeth hurts you, then you go see a dentist. Other times your teeth hurts someone else, and you are taken to another kind of doctor.
    La Femme Fatale
    If you were an Uber recruiter, what would be the first question you'd ask to Marco Rubio during the town hall he's never going to hold? I'd ask him if he ever gained any altitude with those wing-for-ears he's got there. I mean, he's handsome and all... but the ears are a distraction, don't you think?
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    I would first observe him in the wild from afar to ascertain his behavior in his natural Floridian habitat. I would need to pay special attention to whether he is capable of breaking the sound barrier, discover how often he makes use of his ability to fly with his gargantuan head holes, and finally ask if he plans on using Uber for a ride home (as I am likely broke and looking for a quick buck).
    La Femme Fatale
    What did you think of the trans gendered penguin I put outside your door two mornings ago?
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    To be completely honest, I can't distinguish between male and female penguins. The depth of your scheme was completely lost on me. I am so sorry. I was definitely confused, just not about the penguin's invisible jibblets.
    La Femme Fatale
    Who really sunk the Titanic? The iceberg or Obama or something else?
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    My pops once said it was the Russians but my personal theory is the academy sunk it to drown the young, boy toy Dicaprio so they could easily sell shakespearian-as-a-#bamf adult dicaprio.
    La Femme Fatale
    If you had one thumb and it was on top of your right index finger how would you eat a pretzel correctly?
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    With a finger like that, everyone knows there is only one way to eat a pretzel. By serpentining up the central twist, superfinger would provide enough leverage to devour the entire pretzel.
    La Femme Fatale
    If you could watch your favourite movie with anyone in the world, would you agree to invade Middle Earth with that person as well or is that going too far?
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    You know, it really depends. I'm not sure I'd be willing to commit to a Middle Earth-level relationship based on one movie's sitting. We may need to play a few rounds of Guild Wars and see where things go. Ya know?
    La Femme Fatale
    If you were blind, would you fall in love with me at first sight or would you have to get your Driver's license renewed first?
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    Can't all the best blind men can tell things by touch...?
    La Femme Fatale
    If you had to chose between having an inappropriate relationship with a fish, or being a concubine to a fat Saudi Arabian prince for 12 months, what would you choose?
    La Femme Fatale
    Do you think Earth could rotate around the moon six times if Dr. Phil told it to?
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    Dr. Phil is wicked persuasive so probably. But who knows for how long before it reverts to its old non rotating ways. What happens 5 years after the show has aired?
    La Femme Fatale
    Dear Cheez,

    So there's this boy I've been looking at every week on my tv. I like him a lot. His name is Jaime. He's cute and handsome and funny. He's really into his sister and sometimes he pushes children out of castle windows, but on the upside he has a really symmetrical face so those other things aren't deal breakers for me. How do I get Jaime to finally notice me?
    lorddemolatron
    lorddemolatron
    oh welcome in joys of loving fictional characters like me, well im still in love with two male ones.
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    Step 1. Kill his sister
    Step 2. Become a psycho you-know-what
    Step 3. Get reconstructive surgery to look like his sister
    Step 4. Slip into his life like a ninja
    Step 5. Hot sweaty sex forever as long as you ignore the kinky daddy's coming roleplay
    Step 6. Kill any kids that aren't blonde
    Step 7. ?????
    Step 8. PROFIT
    La Femme Fatale
    If the chocolate chip muffin crossed the road at the same time that the fruit explosion muffin also chose to begin crossing the road, then what time would it be when the clock strikes 13??
    • Like
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    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    Wow that's intense... hm... now, I'm not the best with time zones but given that muffins hail from vastly different backgrounds and both are in the street simultaneously... half past nutty fruision. PM.
    La Femme Fatale
    Okay. I am fully back from vacation. *cracks knuckles*

    If you could travel to Mars in a boat, what planet would you stop at first?
    • Like
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    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    Welcome back!

    I imagine I'd have a picnic on 99942 Apophis, the brightest asteroid in the sky. I really want to see if my picnic blanket turns it into a doughnut for earth.
    • Like
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    La Femme Fatale
    FINE. IF YOU'RE GONNA BRING IT, I'M GONNA BRING IT TOO.

    You're dropped into a volcano by a giant seagull. Like, Wun Wun in Game of Thrones but in seagull form. He has charged you with finding Hell. How do you dig deeper into the volcano to get there, and what does Donald Trump say to you when you finally make it to the fire and brimstony gates?
    • Like
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    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    Easy. Use the tears of the local underprivileged natives to harden the lava and chisel through the newly-solidified rock with my totally rad pecks until I reach hell. Unsurprisingly, Donald Trump is there. At the sight of me he screams "Bet you thought I'd say 'You're Fired,' didn't you?? Silly human, my pun game is even less on point in the afterlife. LETS MAKE A-MAGMA-CA GREAT AGAIN!!!"
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    La Femme Fatale
    If people could actually smell sounds (apart from farts obvs), what would elevator music taste like?
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    Saltless horderves that prominently feature mozarella and boring.
    La Femme Fatale
    If you could travel anywhere in the world, what would be your favourite dish at Olive Garden?
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    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    Glad you asked!
    Considering the wide expanse of the globe and how partial I am to Bulgarian culture; I'd have to say the Chicken Parmigiana at Olive Garden reigns supreme. (sorry Bulgaria)
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