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What are you thinking? (Part 2)

tremor

4 itchy tasty
Premium
We're gonna look smashing! Should I shave or keep my two days old beard? Lmao can you imagine a really REALLY hairy face full of make-up? Like painting a cactus?

Lmao, keep the beard. It'll be better that way :p

Done some heavy work or it just randomly happened? I hope you can get someone to massage you.

I believe it happened while I was sleeping night before last. When it woke me up this morning, I took four Ibuprofen and used a heating pad. About an hour or two later I drifted off to sleep again, thankfully. It still hurts some but so far it's nothing like it was last night.
 

Foxtrot94

Elite Hunter
And that guy definitely started it.

Well, technically he didn't. He was just flapping his mouth. I was always taught, both by my parents and my master, that you should only use violence as a means of self defense. I really wanted to shove a fist in his mouth, but that would have put me in the wrong, cause I would have been the assaulter.

But true that, he was a bully alright and maybe I shouldn't have just ignored him, maybe a good middle ground would have been some intimidation, but I guess deep inside I feared I could have taken that extra step that would have made it end badly.
 

Turo602

The King of Kings
Gotta agree with Daburcor. As someone who got picked on at school a lot, I never let bullies win. I made them learn the hard way why being a bully doesn't pay. I didn't care about their insults because I knew I was better than them. I would insult them right back and show them they can't get to me which is why they usually retaliated with violence but oh boy was that their mistake. I've taken on 2 kids even 3 kids at once. One time I even beat up a 5th grader when I was in 1st grade and just recovered from a leg injury. The best part, teachers were usually on my side because I was a good student and when they weren't, my parents backed me up because I defended myself.

Middle School and High School were a different story though. I knew the consequences were greater and that I can get arrested which was something I didn't want to deal with. So I was forced to swallow my pride from time to time, until around Junior Year when I was just sick and tired of people and didn't care anymore. If they want to arrest me for self defense, I'll take it to a judge, but no way in hell was I going to let such ignorant and thuggish people try to push me around anymore.

I finally displayed my dominance and even made some punk ass ghetto kid show everyone just how much of a coward he was right in the middle of class. He threatened to hurt me and I challenged that threat and in the end, it was him who backed out. His mistake was thinking I feared him. Security took us and they could tell I was ready for a fight. But I never let rage blind me. I still handled the whole situation well and did nothing to put me in a compromising position no matter how angry I was. Which is why I was able to press charges on him for threatening me if I wanted but I didn't. Even after that, I showed that coward mercy because in the end, it was me who controlled his fate and as long as he knew that, I was good.

I never believed in that whole ignore and duck out mentality because that mentality is exactly why bullies thrive. You have to break them. Give back as much as they give and if the time really calls for it, you give even more. Only then will a bully see they're not as intimidating, funny, or as tough as they thought they were.
 
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Venomous Oddball

Also Known as Maddy
I never stood up for myself against bullies. I agreed with what they were saying about me so I just let them. But if they insulted someone else I would say the dumbest things to them and awkwardly tell them to stop.
 

Scrumpeh

Sleepy Person
Premium
I had my computer sent in because it was freezing constantly, and completely locking everything up. I sent it in two times. Both times they came back with the same problem. Luckily they didn't charge us, but that still leaves me with this damned freezing.

I feel like it's a windows thing, because everybody who gave up on the issue just reverted back to Windows 7 or 8.1.
 

Foxtrot94

Elite Hunter
I knew the consequences were greater and that I can get arrested which was something I didn't want to deal with.

Exactly my situation there. It would have been really stupid of me to beat that guy up just cause of verbal insults. Cause I would have been the one to pursue, not him. I would have been a straight up assaulter, without the self defense motivation.

I am grateful that I was thought not to automatically respond with violence to anything I get. Doing so ain't wise in the world of adults. As a kid, it may make you appear tough or cool, but as an adult, it would have just made me look childish and a showoff. Who beats a guy up just for some bad mouthing? That's not how it works.

As a kid, if you fight a bully for his insults, is another situation cause the other kids will judge you weak and coward if you don't. Cause they're kids. As an adult, if I punch someone who just flaps his mouth at me, I only come off as immature, and frankly, I actually would have been.

What's a grown up guy who insults another dude for being nerd? Just a jerk. What's a grown up guy who beats the dude insulting him (without being assaulted)? An immature idiot with no self control.

I never believed in that whole ignore and duck out mentality because that mentality is exactly why bullies thrive.

And I agree but you also can't just go out and punch anyone who bad mouths you. As I said, probably the best way to go was intimidation, but certainly not a beating. Somebody would have called the police and the one in the wrong sure as hell wouldn't have been that imbecile. I would have gotten in trouble for sure.
 

Airaku

Stray Jedi
Did someone seriously?
13689561_10153696047485205_2114216732_n.jpg


Some of these memes are just fantastic

13714393_10153695801580205_1236376512_n.jpg


This is so true. The battle between Team Mystic and Team Valor wages on while the innocent little Team Instinct just minds their own business and do their own thing. Surprisingly they actually hold their own xD

pokemon-go-funny-memes-photos.jpg
 

Turo602

The King of Kings
Exactly my situation there. It would have been really stupid of me to beat that guy up just cause of verbal insults. Cause I would have been the one to pursue, not him. I would have been a straight up assaulter, without the self defense motivation.

I am grateful that I was thought not to automatically respond with violence to anything I get. Doing so ain't wise in the world of adults. As a kid, it may make you appear tough or cool, but as an adult, it would have just made me look childish and a showoff. Who beats a guy up just for some bad mouthing? That's not how it works.

As a kid, if you fight a bully for his insults, is another situation cause the other kids will judge you weak and coward if you don't. Cause they're kids. As an adult, if I punch someone who just flaps his mouth at me, I only come off as immature, and frankly, I actually would have been.

What's a grown up guy who insults another dude for being nerd? Just a jerk. What's a grown up guy who beats the dude insulting him (without being assaulted)? An immature idiot with no self control.



And I agree but you also can't just go out and punch anyone who bad mouths you. As I said, probably the best way to go was intimidation, but certainly not a beating. Somebody would have called the police and the one in the wrong sure as hell wouldn't have been that imbecile. I would have gotten in trouble for sure.

That's exactly why you don't attack people over words either. That's just as weak as the person who started it to begin with. If they try to hurt you with words, you fight them with words. If they can't handle it, that's their problem.

Even growing up, I was never the one to throw the first punch because like you said, you'll be in the wrong for it. That doesn't exclusively apply to adults. I fought not to show off to the others around me. I couldn't care less about them then and I sure as hell don't care now. I fought strictly for self defense.

Let them be the first to resort to violence but of course, don't go looking to escalate things more than they should either. You don't have to let them know that you're angry and quite honestly, you shouldn't be given the situation you described because you should know better than him.

The fact that you came on here to vent about him means he won. He got to you. You gotta learn to keep your cool, man. So he made fun of you because you were wearing video game gear? So what? He's obviously an idiot if that was funny to him. If someone is making fun of you, you can't just stay quiet. Make fun of him back and laugh at him. I mean, what's he gonna do, fight you? Now who's the childish one?
 

Foxtrot94

Elite Hunter
You gotta learn to keep your cool, man.

LOL that's what I did. I kept my cool. Didn't fight him. There was no valid reason to. Yeah inside I was irritated but outside, I was acting unbothered and that's why he kept trying to break me and make me lose it.

And I don't agree with your strategy. If I had responded to him insulting him back, THEN he would have won. THEN he would have known he got to me. Indifference is how I made him know he didn't. When I got on the bus, people were looking at us as he was still flapping his mouth while I was buying the ticket from the driver. Between the two of us, who do you think people were giving condescending looks? Between the two of us, he was the one who did an embarrassing impression. Had I played his game, gotten into a verbal fight, I'd have come off as as immature as him.

Sometimes ignoring and showing indifference doesn't mean you're weak, it just means you're more mature than whoever is breaking your balls. And sometimes it does pay off, like when people give you "don't worry we know" looks and the other guy "god what a childish twat" looks.
 

Cheer

Kamen Rider
That moment when you hang with over 306 persons and you talk and make jokes with them as if you were childhood friend. but you have no idea who these people are.
 

Turo602

The King of Kings
LOL that's what I did. I kept my cool. Didn't fight him. There was no valid reason to. Yeah inside I was irritated but outside, I was acting unbothered.

And I don't agree with your strategy. If I had responded to him insulting him back, THEN he would have won. THEN he would have known he got to me. Indifference is how I made him know he didn't. When I got on the bus, people were looking at us as he was still flapping his mouth while I was buying the ticket from the driver. Between the two of us, who do you think people were giving condescending looks? Between the two of us, he was the one who did an embarrassing impression. Had I played his game, gotten into a verbal fight, I'd have come off as as immature as him.

Sometimes ignoring and showing indifference doesn't mean you're weak, it just means you're more mature than whoever is breaking your balls. And sometimes it does pay off, like when people give you "don't worry we know" looks and the other guy "god what a childish twat" looks.

But clearly he got to you seeing as you came here and talked about it. The fact that you wanted to fight the guy over something so trivial means he won. He may not know it, but he won. At the end of the day, you were his joke. Do you think he cares about what other people think? Probably not if he acts like that in public. People making faces didn't put the guy in his place. Your silence obviously didn't do much either seeing as you went ahead and let yourself feel unnecessary anger. There's a clear difference between keeping your cool and acting like you're keeping it.

This is what I mean, you gotta learn to calm down, man. The first step to dealing with a bully is not letting them get to you. Especially one of such triviality who doesn't seem to be threatening any kind of physical harm. Like you said, he was an obnoxious asshole so don't take them so seriously and most definitely don't just awkwardly stay quiet and pretend nothing is happening.

Ignoring a bully doesn't make the bully go away. If anything, you're inviting them to stay because your silence becomes a personal challenge for them. They want a rise from you. They want you to be mad and snap. They want to control your emotions so they continue to act like children until they get the reaction they want. Which is exactly why you give them a reaction they aren't expecting.

When I say fight them with words, I don't mean go down to their level or threaten them because you're angry. No, that's what they want. Keep your cool, shrug it off, crack a joke, and go on about your business but not like it doesn't bother you but because it doesn't bother you. It doesn't hurt to throw some humor or sarcasm back at them without coming off defensive. It not only shows that you're not bothered by them but depending on what you say and how you say it, it also shows that you're much smarter than them too. But most importantly, it shows that you aren't afraid and there's nothing childish about that.
 

Foxtrot94

Elite Hunter
Ignoring a bully doesn't make the bully go away.

Neither does acting like you're saying. At least in my experience. In my experience, whenever I tried your tactic, the bully still stayed and responded with my sarcastic jokes with his, in a chain that only got interrupted when somebody else stepped in to restore order.

I believe your tactic doesn't work, and I also believe that passivity doesn't always work either (btw, regardless of what you say, it has gotten me out of bad situations in the past), and that's why I said the best solution would have probably been intimidation.

You've got to understand that what works for you doesn't automatically work for everyone, and bullies ain't a single kind, there are different types of them. There are those that give up when you "fight them with words", those who act like the complete opposite of what you described (like the ones I had to deal with), and so on. Everybody has to find the way to deal with them that works most for them. Me, I found that the "show indifference till they put their hands on you, THEN react" worked for my bullies. They wanted a reaction from me, and when they saw it would never come, they gave up looking for somebody else who would react instead.

The conviction that there is only one way to deal with bullies is what leads to bad advices and making some people's situations worse rather than better. Not that I'm accusing you of anything, I'm just telling you I use the method that I use because it's worked well in the past. Looks like this time I encountered an individual who required another type of treatment, and I wasn't prepared for it.

I hope you won't have the same experience of having to confront someone your method doesn't work with, because if there's something I've learned doing martial arts, is that there's always someone better than you. There's always someone who can outsmart your words, and/or that can kick your butt splendidly if it comes down to that.
 

Turo602

The King of Kings
Neither does acting like you're saying. At least in my experience. In my experience, whenever I tried your tactic, the bully still stayed and responded with my sarcastic jokes with his, in a chain that only got interrupted when somebody else stepped in to restore order.

I believe your tactic doesn't work, and I also believe that passivity doesn't always work either (btw, regardless of what you say, it has gotten me out of bad situations in the past), and that's why I said the best solution would have probably been intimidation.

You've got to understand that what works for you doesn't automatically work for everyone, and bullies ain't a single kind, there are different types of them. There are those that give up when you "fight them with words", those who act like the complete opposite of what you described (like the ones I had to deal with), and so on. Everybody has to find the way to deal with them that works most for them. Me, I found that the "show indifference till they put their hands on you, THEN react" worked for my bullies. They wanted a reaction from me, and when they saw it would never come, they gave up looking for somebody else who would react instead.

The conviction that there is only one way to deal with bullies is what leads to bad advices and making some people's situations worse rather than better. Not that I'm accusing you of anything, I'm just telling you I use the method that I use because it's worked well in the past. Looks like this time I encountered an individual who required another type of treatment, and I wasn't prepared for it.

I hope you won't have the same experience of having to confront someone your method doesn't work with, because if there's something I've learned doing martial arts, is that there's always someone better than you. There's always someone who can outsmart your words, and/or that can kick your butt splendidly if it comes down to that.

My advice was based on the very little I know about the situation you described. I get that there are different types of bullies, I'm not saying this is the only way to deal with bullies as there are many different types of bullies and situations you could find yourself in with them. I should know, I've been there. I was just trying to be helpful to you as I just don't think it's normal or even appropriate for a grown man to ignore a situation like that. I mean, the minute that guy messed with you it became your problem and if it were me, I would have dealt with it head on.

Personally, I'm more of humorous person so I tend to be very sarcastic and can definitely make fun of someone if the time calls for it. So I get that maybe that wouldn't work for you but silence is just as bad. You may have ducked out of conflict, but you still didn't stand up for yourself. People, especially adults shouldn't be afraid of a little conflict. If you got bills to pay, you work your ass off to pay them. You don't ignore it and hope they go away because life doesn't work that way.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to tell you how to live your life. If you've been fine then good for you. Keep doing what your doing. But the impression I got from you was that you weren't so I just wanted to share my experience so that you could hopefully learn from it. If there's anything you should take away from what I said though, it's that you shouldn't let people get to you. Don't just act calm on the outside, be calm on the inside too.

On a separate note, I am so goddamn angry that my phone reset itself to factory settings! I lost everything because my passcode wouldn't work anymore despite having entered it in and using the phone just minutes before and now I lost some very important things. UGH!
 
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Hel

Goddess of the Dead
Premium
Really? I find jewellery shopping even worse. I once made the mistake of visiting the Camden markets in London with two female friends who spent an hour or so looking at and examining every single ring, pendant, bracelet and whatever else they found in the jewellery store - and then left without buying anything. Being an immortal goddess was probably the only thing that kept me from dropping dead out of sheer boredom, because even though I'm a woman myself, I don't get what's so great about shopping. Especially if you walk out of it empty-handed.
 

Foxtrot94

Elite Hunter
Really? I find jewellery shopping even worse.

Whatever shopping, really. Except for electronics and sport stuff.

I find clothes to be the worst simply because it's what I give the least damn about, LOL.

And oh my god my mom does the same thing, checks stuff out without buying. Meanwhile I sit guarding the cart and watching my balls falling on the floor and my milk reaching my knees.

Don't worry if that sounds WTF-ish, they're just ways of saying we use here.
 
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Airaku

Stray Jedi
Just saw Ghostbusters. I liked it. 7.8/10

I can't do it. I just can't ****ing do it. My mom still buys my clothes LMAO I tend to get a few new ****s and pants for Christmas. It's even more of a nightmare when I was younger and we would go to Ikea.... the thought of it is killing me. Or when my ex would get me to go shopping with her and we'd be going store to store and she tried almost everything on and barely brought anything. She said that I need to learn patience. I highly doubt she would have been any different if I pulled that **** while looking for video games -_- Or the latest tech.
Yes I buy some shirts here and there if I need them. I probably due to get some new clothes in the near future.
 
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