Question of the Week 6; Addressing the Stigma of Sex!

[La Femme Fatale]

Yes, wake up boys, I said sex.

Anyway, this week's question was suggested by Tequila, who words it far better than I could so I'm just going to quote the bulk of her message (hope you don't mind!):

One suggestion I would like to introduce is about the stigma of sex.

1. "Too many people are taught that sex is dirty, it's wrong, it's sinful, ect."

Would you agree with this quote? Why or why not? What can you interpret from it?

2. What you think about having sex before marriage? Is marriage overrated? Why? What does it signify for you, and would you like to get married?

3. As far as sex, why do you think it is a stigma and portrayed as "bad"? (Besides the situations of unplanned pregnacy and STDs.)

Again, feel free to answer one or all of the suggested questions, and if you have a topic in mind, please don't hesitate to send me a message.

 

[SNPAL21]

If we were all to have sex AFTER we are married to one person then there wouldn't be all these bad causes. Like for example pregnancy at a young age, abortion, diseases, and the list goes on. Honestly people are not going to follow this because we are all sinful in different ways and we can control our selves, but we chose not to.

 

[Popo]

1- we were born with it, sexual instinct, we start do develop it at very young age, and i still can't understand why it's so "hidden" from us, i had to find out for myself, no one told me, everything i learned about sex is because of experience and my group of friends, the only thing my parents mentioned was for me to always use a condom
anyway my sister which is 10 is going the same way, no word from parents, everythin from internet, group of friends and school(oh yeah, i forgot to mention i learned from school too)

2- hmm i think marriage is overrated because marriage =/= love, and it only cause problems, money, and if i want to split with her, i have to divorce and more money issues
i dont intend in getting married because getting married = money thrown away
my uncle is together with is girlfriend for 9 years, they have 3 children, and they are not married, and nothing bad happened between them until now

3- i think it's because of religion

 

[aintnoscrub]

sex before marriage...of course, why not. Nothing dirty or wrong about it, personally these people who think of sex as a taboo or dirty act frustrate the hell out of me. There will always be the problem of std's and such but we all have the common sense and the knowledge to know what to do to prevent it.

As for marriage, only when I'm stable with my future and know I won't be getting into any unwated problems.

 

[tequila]

Personally, I wouldn't think sex is a taboo. When I get older and decide to reproduce, I am going to be a resonsible mother and communicate with my sons/daughters about it. Also develop a good relationship and stuff. I agree with you Slash, we are built to MATE. It all depends on the person and if he/she is responsible enough to get tested for STDs/AIDS and take precautions with your partner(s). Also with using conceptives such as the birth control, spermicide, and condoms. Or whatever floats your boat lol. We live in different societies in various parts of the world. The most universal concept is sex after marriage.

In USA, the emphasis of marriage and statistics of divorce is overrated to me. The most common and kind of important factor in marriage or casual/long term dating is $$$. Financial situations play a BIG role if you believe it or not. I read that from a magazine. There's only so patience, say if a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is unemployed for a long time or no making any income. Also, to pay bills, support the kid(s) if any, and other expenses.

What kind of disgusted me what young Playboy looking girls marrying old rich men to support them. Then some divorce to get money and property. That's my opinon though.

As far as sex being an overall stigma, some people aren't educated enough about the topic or opened about it. Also, you get to know yourself and confidence/sexuality. Yet, it's something done behind closed doors in the bedroom (or other places lol), it's satisfaction. Media and peers pressure into being sexually active at a young age. Almost all advertisements and media outlets have some kind of hidden sexual references and double standards. Yes, it is in our genes to procreate and to get/give satisfaction, but it's also the jumpy triggered hormones floating around.

Ok I'm done with my essay lol.

 

[bruno]

1. I think the reason people hear those things about sex has a lot to do with religions. For example, some centuries ago, the catholic church was probably the most powerful institution in the ocidental world, and they created a series of ideas which are still part of our education, even if our education is not catholic.
Well, i'm not blaming exclusively religion, but it has to be one of the biggest influences.


2. I don't have anything against sex before marriage. Well, what about the people who are not planning to get married? Should they never try the wonders of sex (poor them)?
I'm not religious, so I see marriage only as a handful of rights and duties, which can come in handy when 2 persons are planning to live together for a long period of life (it can also become a hell after some time).
I'm not sure if I want to get married, but that's something I'll think of when I find a partner i find worthy of getting married to.

3. Well, I think that the later generations are more open-minded about sex, because there's no reason to think it's bad. Of course all of we have our personal beliefs and our knowledge about the good and bad consequences, so it's up to each of us to make a decision, based on what we think and not what others want us to think.

 

[Mr Sunshine]

2. I think that marriage is underrated actually. It's a big step in someone's life and most people don't take it as seriously as they should. They take hasty decisions instead. You need to have known someone for many years before you marry him(like 6 or more). You also need to have stayed with him for some time because there are many differences if you don't live together. Finally, you need to be economically independant.

Marriage signifies -for me- the beginning of a new family, children. There's no point in getting married unless you want to have your own children. Otherwise you can live your life and have as much safe sex as you want. It is vital for a kid to have both of his parents in the house. It is unlike that it will face psychological problems this way. You can't love your husband/wife when you are 40 or 50 just like you did when you were 20 or 30. The key to a long lasting marriage is affection which replaces love while time passes. And this is because of the children.

Also, I don't think that you should marry someone due to unwanted pregnancy. Most likely it will end up to be a failure unless you like the other person. It is better for a kid to not have married parents than to have them in the house quarreling all the time.

 

[bruno]

Marriage signifies -for me- the beginning of a new family, children. There's no point in getting married unless you want to have your own children. Otherwise you can live your life and have as much safe sex as you want. It is vital for a kid to have both of his parents in the house. It is unlike that it will face psychological problems this way. You can't love your husband/wife when you are 40 or 50 just like you did when you were 20 or 30. The key to a long lasting marriage is affection which replaces love while time passes. And this is because of the children.

Well, I don't fully agree in this part... For example, I don't think you should marry only if you want to have children, only the 2 person who marry will be the particiants (children are an important part of the marriage, but they are not directly involved). Some people marry for religeous beliefs, others marry to have a more deep connection, others marry because they think it's the right thing to do. But I never knew someone who got married to have children.
Also, I don't think children raised with only 1 parent has more probability to face psychological problems.
Lastly, I think 2 persons only learn to really love each other after they've been together for a long long time, this meaning, people who are together for 30 years have usually have a stronger love than people who have been together for 10 years.

 

[Hoady]

1.Nah i'm pretty sure sex is awesome its not dirty its natural,in fact its insane to consider that something like sex is considered out of order when you got things like violence that are just swell.Now theres a limit we don't want everyone ****ing around like jack rabbits and thinking being skanks and metros is cool just show some goddamn respect to yourself...pull up those skirts and take off your goddamn makeup..you too boys!(half of these douchebags clearly wear makeup.)Man if you get a girl and never give her makeup,unless its a special occasion i guarantee she looks absolutely stunning without it and looks worse with makeup.

But then you've also get this sexual image thats providing to kids with music videos and advertising.Its disgusting man seeing girls that are 11 wearing tight mini skirts you know,its just ridiculously unnecessary.Seriously **** fashion man.But moving on you learn what it is without any outside influence and thats the best way it could happen, i think you somewhat instinctively know that a girl has something and you gotta something as well.

2.Pfft I don't believe in Marriage, how many people who get married really know the tradition of marriage?Then you get divorce,financial and children issues.I don't mean to offend anyone i just think to confess your love to one another you shouldn't have to do it by purchasing a big ceremony,fancy rings and signing documents.So as for sex before marriage go nuts just be fricken responsible you goddamn fags.

3.As mentioned i believe it started with religion and just kind of dragged on.Maybe it was to show responsibility and respect for oneself because back then they didn't have things like condoms so it was kind of a hit and miss, have sex and expect a baby you poor bastard.

Nowadays its ridiculous though "MY SON IS HAVING SEX,THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE"(as it is for alot of families)well i would just say this:Get over it you goddamn hypocrites i bet you all whisk yourself's off to sleep every night.I don't know why its considered a horrible act, i think humans rather derive in pain then pleasure lol.

 

[SNPAL21]

Personally, I wouldn't think sex is a taboo. When I get older and decide to reproduce, I am going to be a resonsible mother and communicate with my sons/daughters about it. Also develop a good relationship and stuff. I agree with you Slash, we are built to MATE. It all depends on the person and if he/she is responsible enough to get tested for STDs/AIDS and take precautions with your partner(s). Also with using conceptives such as the birth control, spermicide, and condoms. Or whatever floats your boat lol. We live in different societies in various parts of the world. The most universal concept is sex after marriage.

In USA, the emphasis of marriage and statistics of divorce is overrated to me. The most common and kind of important factor in marriage or casual/long term dating is $$$. Financial situations play a BIG role if you believe it or not. I read that from a magazine. There's only so patience, say if a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is unemployed for a long time or no making any income. Also, to pay bills, support the kid(s) if any, and other expenses.

What kind of disgusted me what young Playboy looking girls marrying old rich men to support them. Then some divorce to get money and property. That's my opinon though.

As far as sex being an overall stigma, some people aren't educated enough about the topic or opened about it. Also, you get to know yourself and confidence/sexuality. Yet, it's something done behind closed doors in the bedroom (or other places lol), it's satisfaction. Media and peers pressure into being sexually active at a young age. Almost all advertisements and media outlets have some kind of hidden sexual references and double standards. Yes, it is in our genes to procreate and to get/give satisfaction, but it's also the jumpy triggered hormones floating around.

Ok I'm done with my essay lol.

Agreed, especially the last paragraph.

 

[Mr Sunshine]

Well, I don't fully agree in this part... For example, I don't think you should marry only if you want to have children, only the 2 person who marry will be the particiants (children are an important part of the marriage, but they are not directly involved). Some people marry for religeous beliefs, others marry to have a more deep connection, others marry because they think it's the right thing to do. But I never knew someone who got married to have children.
Also, I don't think children raised with only 1 parent has more probability to face psychological problems.
Lastly, I think 2 persons only learn to really love each other after they've been together for a long long time, this meaning, people who are together for 30 years have usually have a stronger love than people who have been together for 10 years.

Oh, I think I exaggerated a bit. I just wanted to mention the importance of a child having both of his parents together. Yeah, I suppose there are also other reasons for someone to marry. And I didn't meant to say that a child is definitely going to psychological problems if it raised by one parent. However I still think that it will miss his other parent and that it's going to be a lot harder for one person to raise a child all by himself.

 

[tequila]

Oh, I think I exaggerated a bit. I just wanted to mention the importance of a child having both of his parents together. Yeah, I suppose there are also other reasons for someone to marry. And I didn't meant to say that a child is definitely going to psychological problems if it raised by one parent. However I still think that it will miss his other parent and that it's going to be a lot harder for one person to raise a child all by himself.

There's always that double standard that the woman always have to bear the pain of birth and for life, and making the choice of abortion or keeping the child. It's also kind of acceptable and almost normal that the guy can leave the girl and not take responsibility for his child. I find that pretty sad.

 

[LordGolbez]

1. "Too many people are taught that sex is dirty, it's wrong, it's sinful, ect."

Would you agree with this quote? Why or why not? What can you interpret from it?

My Answer: Too Many People Are Taught That Sex Is Dirty Like Some Of The Others Mentioned It Is An Instinct You See Someone That Looks Good You Look.


2. What you think about having sex before marriage? Is marriage overrated? Why? What does it signify for you, and would you like to get married?

My Answer: It Is Your Perogative What You Want To Do But If You Do You Should Should The Risks And What Can Happen. As For Me Marriage Does Not Mean Much As I Will More Likely Never Find Anyone Compatible With Myself But The Option Is Not Completely Closed Off.


3. As far as sex, why do you think it is a stigma and portrayed as "bad"? (Besides the situations of unplanned pregnacy and STDs.)

My Answer: The Majority Of People That Think That Sex Is Bad Is Because It Is The Deflowering Of The Youth And The Loss Of Innocence And They Are No Longer Their Little Boy/Girl.

 

[Romero]

Yes, wake up boys, I said sex.

Lmao.

1. "Too many people are taught that sex is dirty, it's wrong, it's sinful, ect."

Would you agree with this quote? Why or why not? What can you interpret from it?

2. What you think about having sex before marriage? Is marriage overrated? Why? What does it signify for you, and would you like to get married?

3. As far as sex, why do you think it is a stigma and portrayed as "bad"? (Besides the situations of unplanned pregnacy and STDs.)

1) Only humans would come up with the idea that something normal is dirty, I believe the act of reproduction is not the only example. All non-human life forms are smarter than us in certain ways.

2) Sex before marriage is perfectly fine in my opinion, but I do not like promiscuity or unprotected sex. I think no one can answer if marriage is overrated, there is no universal answers. I would want to marry if I found the right one, as I see marriage as the ideal way to live together.

3) The reason is for the most part religion, but sex was maybe seen this way before we got any of the modern religions. And back in the time we didn't have any effective contraception that protected against STDs. This could have been a reason why sex became "dirty".
Also see my answer on the 1st question.

 

[Hoady]

Edit nation.