Question of the Week #1: Should Sex Ed be Left to Parents?

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Sex Ed is the responsibility of both, in my opinion. It should be something the parents are willing to discuss and be open about and also be taught in schools because, let's face it, most kids seem to get their "education" in the playground as it is and it's got to be easier to ask an anonymous question in class rather than go home and ask mummy what oral sex is.

I don't know how things work in America, so I can only speak from a UK perspective. Schools should NOT teach abstinence/sex so much as they ought to teach responsibility. Too many kids seem to think that consequences are for other people to have to deal with. Abstinence is an option. As is having sex. Both should be presented fairly and without bias. Kids need to know this stuff because as adults it is our responsibility to inform them. But do it the right way. Let them know about diseases, pregnancy, abuse and also the emotional effects of sex. The reputation you can get for sleeping around. The dangers of being wrapped in cotton wool and therefore unable to comprehend sexual activity normally. Teach it in both the context of marriage and not marriage - you can't presume everyone will "wait", however desirable that course may seem.

Over here, you can remove your child from sex ed classes on certain grounds BUT I would argue that parents who do this should be willing to teach their child themselves. If abstinence is something that is important to you, impart that to your child but still explain how sex works, WHY abstinence is preferred and the consequences of sex irrespective of religion.

In my house, sex is an open topic - my parents were extremely uptight about the subject and all we knew was that it was some shadowy, late at night, close your eyes sort of thing that happened behind closed doors. I don't want it to be like that for my kids and with a teenage daughter whose friends are already experimenting, I would be a crappy parent to just sit back and hope she knows what she's doing. No subject is barred in my house because when you create a taboo, people want more of it. Bring stuff out into the open and it can become less attractive.

My daughter started sex ed when she was 9 and was already well aware of the whole birds and bees thing at the age of 5, when she asked me about it. I think educators and parents should share the burden of teaching - make sure you are all on the same page and then make it comfortable and easy for your child to talk about it. If parents find it too embarrassing, then find another trusted family member or friend to do it for you - but don't just leave it. It's too important to ignore.
 
Parents should take the initiative and have that talk, but I think it's important that schools be mandated.

Some kids just get stuck with parents that won't/don't do those things. There needs to be a fail-safe so that every kid at least gets a briefing if not a one-on-one talk with a parent.

My 5th grade class did it with a parent volunteer. It was an excellent approach, since all the kids saw her every day but she was enough of a stranger that it felt anonymous.
 
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