Jokes
- Thread starter Torque
- Start date
CapcomGirl
Yo bine de Kombate Mortal
Here's a joke:
A kid walks in a drug store and says this to the employee.
Kid: Do you have colorful cigarettes?
Employee:No we don't
Next day,the kid comes in again.
Kid: Do you have colorful cigarettes?
Employee:No we don"t
In the morning at the store the employee talks to another employee.
Employee:Quick!Help me color all the cigarettes different colors.
The kid comes in.
Kid: Do you have colorful cigarettes?
Employee.Yea,what color do you want?
Kid:White!
For those who didn't get the joke:You know how ALL the cigarettes are white,the guys painted them colorful cuz they didn't knew the kid wanted a white one
A kid walks in a drug store and says this to the employee.
Kid: Do you have colorful cigarettes?
Employee:No we don't
Next day,the kid comes in again.
Kid: Do you have colorful cigarettes?
Employee:No we don"t
In the morning at the store the employee talks to another employee.
Employee:Quick!Help me color all the cigarettes different colors.
The kid comes in.
Kid: Do you have colorful cigarettes?
Employee.Yea,what color do you want?
Kid:White!
For those who didn't get the joke:You know how ALL the cigarettes are white,the guys painted them colorful cuz they didn't knew the kid wanted a white one
Silverfern
The Haka: "Ka Mate!"
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
KennedyKiller
Super Saiyan Member
This is not so much a joke, but a pick-up line i found very funny...Let's make like fabric softner and "Snuggle"...its funnier to me cause i saw a twelve year old use it on a sixteen year old...
KennedyKiller
Super Saiyan Member
Well...she though he was adorable...but she was also a little creeped out so...
A_Wesker123
The Original
Dave was sitting at a bar when another man walked up to him.
"I slept with your mother!" said the man.
Dave turned away, ignoring the man.
"I said i slept with your mother!" repeated the man.
Once again, Dave turned away.
"I said, I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
Not being able to stand it any longer, Dave finally answered:
"Go home dad, you're drunk."
Meh, i though it was funny
"I slept with your mother!" said the man.
Dave turned away, ignoring the man.
"I said i slept with your mother!" repeated the man.
Once again, Dave turned away.
"I said, I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"
Not being able to stand it any longer, Dave finally answered:
"Go home dad, you're drunk."
Meh, i though it was funny
tremor
4 itchy tasty
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all running from the cops. They're driving down the road when they spot three sacks on the side of the road. They all hop out and each one jumps into a sack to hide. The cops pull up and decide to inspect the bags. A cop walks up to the first one, kicks the sack, and the redhead says "bark bark bark!"
Cop: This sack is full of puppies!
So he moves to the next sack, kicks it, and the brunette says "Meow meow meow!"
Cop: This sack is full of kittens!
He finally moves to the third sack, kicks it, and the blonde says "Po-ta-to, po-ta-to, po-ta-to!"
Guess who gets caught?
Cop: This sack is full of puppies!
So he moves to the next sack, kicks it, and the brunette says "Meow meow meow!"
Cop: This sack is full of kittens!
He finally moves to the third sack, kicks it, and the blonde says "Po-ta-to, po-ta-to, po-ta-to!"
Guess who gets caught?
bruno
Chief Researcher
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all running from the cops. They're driving down the road when they spot three sacks on the side of the road. They all hop out and each one jumps into a sack to hide. The cops pull up and decide to inspect the bags. A cop walks up to the first one, kicks the sack, and the redhead says "bark bark bark!"
Cop: This sack is full of puppies!
So he moves to the next sack, kicks it, and the redhead says "Meow meow meow!"
Cop: This sack is full of kittens!
He finally moves to the third sack, kicks it, and the blonde says "Po-ta-to, po-ta-to, po-ta-to!"
Guess who gets caught?
When did the brunette have time to dye her hair red?
tremor
4 itchy tasty
Maybe she was really wearing a wig
but really, thank you for bringing that to my attention...changing it...now 
Mr Sunshine
Well-Known Member
You must have seen this somewhere already but here we go anyway:
It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.
A human hair can hold 3kg.
The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb.
The femur is as hard as concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
Women blink 2x as much as men.
We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand.
The woman has read this entire text.
The man is still looking at his thumb...
It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.
A human hair can hold 3kg.
The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb.
The femur is as hard as concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
Women blink 2x as much as men.
We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand.
The woman has read this entire text.
The man is still looking at his thumb...
La Femme Fatale
The Queen
Why are women such awful parkers?
Because men tell them that this (______________________) is six inches.
Because men tell them that this (______________________) is six inches.
Weredolphin
Well-Known Member
Shortest one I know: "Pretentious? Moi?"
From a great show called Fawlty Towers.
From a great show called Fawlty Towers.
Mr Sunshine
Well-Known Member
Women like good guys!
I'm almost sure that this is seven!Why are women such awful parkers?
Because men tell them that this (______________________) is six inches.