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La Femme Fatale

La Femme Fatale

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The Queen 35 From Canada
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  • Romero
    Hi, I'll be going away for a week, and there is no internet there. I'm leaving this afternoon and I hope you'll manage. :)
    cheezMcNASTY
    Ok. I helped you now you help me. How do I get Margaery Tyrrell to agree to a polygamous relationship for me and a monogamous relationship for her. Where I still get all that Highgarden bankroll if ya know what I mean.
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    Cheez - I... I didn't want to be the one to tell you this... but... I feel you should hear it from me. Make sure you're not driving. Margeary... is dead. She was eaten. Not by zombies, but by a big ball of fire. I'm really sorry. If you need someone to talk to... you can talk to Melania Trump who I'm sure will be able to put you at ease with tales from when she was a young black girl growing up in Illinois.
    cheezMcNASTY
    China has gone to war... AGAINST BAD HYGIENE! As the president of crest, you have been enlisted by the UN to provide intel and advise. What can the Chinese government do to have more healthy Chinese teeth and is there anything romantic at all about Scrabble
    • Like
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    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    To save money in the beginning, they can just use their fingers with a little bit of toothpaste, and then when we start getting a profit margin we can talk about using toothbrushes.
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    And we can also talk later about maybe upgrading to Colgate or something. Of course, we'd also have to decide if this is a business the government would run or if it should be privately owned and operated. Whatever makes the most money. And you know me - all about making the $$$$. KA-CHING.
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    God I'm such a great businessman. Fantastic. I'll make us all really rich. And no, there's nothing romantic about Scrabble. Are you trying to say there's something romantic about words? Hah. Come now.
    cheezMcNASTY
    Due to pot becoming legal, your local pharmacy has hit a surplus of every prescription drug that was ever any fun. Like a responsible pharmacy, they decide to share. What do you get from them and which episode of Game of Thrones do you watched while you're totally zonked out of your mind, bro.
    • Like
    Reactions: tremor
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    At this stage of my life I really value productivity, so I'd choose adderall and therefore could watch ALL the Game of Thrones episodes at once. Because I'm pretty sure that's how adderall works, right?
    cheezMcNASTY
    While perusing your local pet store, a goldfish grants you the ability to teleport anywhere instantly on one condition: you must travel the earth and systematically tell everyone why they suck and are boring. This job pays a $80k annual salary and has good insurance with paid vacation and sick leave so you accept.

    Who do you go see first, why do they suck, and how are they boring?
    • Like
    Reactions: tremor
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    I would go to my local Red Lobster, look at one of those lil' lobsters right in the eye and tell him that he sucks because he's not in my belly and he's boring because he's not Jaime Lannister and is not in my... nvm.

    See? I'm the fairest, most reasonable person in the world.
    cheezMcNASTY
    CRACKS KNUCKLES
    HERE WE GO
    You've been abducted and infected with a virus. The sight of anything cute now causes uncontrollable and VERY audible flatulence until you call someone you have a crush on and get them to listen to said flatulence WITHOUT explaining yourself. Your abductors leave you in the puppy ward of an animal shelter. How do you escape without blowing your chances with the guys?
    • Like
    Reactions: tremor and Capcomplicated
    Capcomplicated
    Capcomplicated
    this is getting interesting...
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    Easy. I'll take four or five ducalox (or Satan in a lil pill, as I like to call it), those MFs will clean me out like an oil change (I assume that's what oil changes do) and hence NO flatulence issues when Triple J (Jaime Lannister, Jareth [although note Jon Snow is an acceptable alternate considering Jareth is dead and all], and Justin Trudeau) come to rescue me. Crisis eh-verted!

    Get it, EH-verted?
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    And if that doesn't work, kill ze puppies.
    cheezMcNASTY
    Sorry to break the silliness and get real here. Supposing Donald Trump becomes president, what's the best episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    That's too real for me, Cheez. It's too real! *starts crying*
    cheezMcNASTY
    If 3x and 4y are at a laundramat in Nova Scotia and both leave for Vancouver at 4 pm, do you prefer Coke or Diet Coke?
    • Like
    Reactions: La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    Hmmm... I need more information to answer this. Am I leaving with 3x and 4y or are they doing their own thing without me?
    cheezMcNASTY
    cheezMcNASTY
    You aren't going with them but they may judge you from afar.
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    In that case I'll go with Coke because I hear it'll give you a great tan if you rub it all over your body. #True #OMG #JohnBoehner.
    cheezMcNASTY
    You step outside and realize your front yard is actually just a concept. What do you do with your life now?
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    I'm sorry. I can't believe it took me 11 days just to realize I'd probably just cry. For the rest of my life. I expect my tears should return the oceans to the same level they were 60 million years ago.

    AND BOOM I've solved climate change. It's a solid plan.
    tremor
    What are the new signature dimensions? I believe I used to make them 500x300. (Yes I'm totally considering getting back into making sigs. I just have to be sure I still have what I need lol.)
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    I don't think we have dimensions anymore - since now it will automatically scroll. Similar to my size should be fine!
    • Like
    Reactions: tremor
    MartinMilk
    Did not mean to be rude, I honestly didn't. Might just be the way i'm speaking. I just thought it was a bit silly thats all. Hope there is no hard feelings between us.
    La Femme Fatale
    La Femme Fatale
    It's fine. I don't make the rules, I only enforce them. I don't feel I'm at all as strict as most other moderators on the network so I was quite a bit taken aback by your response. But thank you for clarifying.
    Springhosen
    Okay so I just rewatched Resident Evil: Degeneration and, unfortunately I find that I actually... Like Leon in it...

    I just thought you should be the first to know.
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