Advice for the socially awkward.

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Storyofmylife

Storyofmylife

The watchful protector.
Jan 23, 2012
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Okay so I need ya'lls advice! and this is for anyone who needs advice when it comes to things involving people. Anyway... There's this cute barista at starbucks that I visit when I get my coffee. We finally began talking today and I wanna know if he was flirting or not...

I had my hair in a red bandana and as I approached he made a lot of eye contact and we smiled. Then he said to me: "I see you got the Rosie the Riveter hair going on... I love it when girls do that to their hair."
Me: "Oh thank you" and blushed then I came back with "Well when people don't get that reference I just say I'm doing my hair like 2pac." and he started to laugh and I was like "You better watch out, I got a red bandana on today... Bloods fo life!" and he was like "Well you better get the hell outta here because I got a blue bandana and THIS!" and he got out a coffee stirir, then i got one from behind the counter and we pretend dueled... it was amazing.


Anyway, I'm not sure if this is flirting or if he's just having a good time. Last time I was sick my father came in to get my coffee. My father is well known at starbucks because he practically lives there drinking coffee all the time. The guy asked about me and a few days later after I was still sick he told my dad "Here I'll make her this on the house. I hope she feels better." and it was for St Paddy's. This is said coffee...

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It was an incredibly nice gesture, but I'm wondering... Is he interested or just being nice? Because I'm completely retarded when it comes to things like this!
 
KennedyKiller said:
What was his tone of voice when he was joking with you...Was it kind of smug? And did he make a lot of eye contact nearly the whole time...
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Yeah he was making eye contact the whole time, unless he needed to pay attention to the coffee he was making me. I suppose when he was joking around it was a bit smug, but more playful than anything.
 
He's flirting.

But most guys do, its in their nature so don't read too much into it.

His gesture of an on the house coffee, is a good one, but remember, your dad has put money into that store, so he is keeping one of his best customers happy.

personally though, i think from what you've said, he's keeping a door wide open for you... return his smiles, and laugh at his jokes. I'm a firm believer in that the guy should always ask the girl. If he's not got the....Caffeine ... to go with the swagger, then he's a dead goose.

#1 tip.

When entering said store, don't look for him, don't think about him, don't go there when you normally wouldnt, just to see if he's there.... you will appear needy and desperate. be cool. Let it happen.
 
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VP-70 said:
He's flirting.

But most guys do, its in their nature so don't read too much into it.

His gesture of an on the house coffee, is a good one, but remember, your dad has put money into that store, so he is keeping one of his best customers happy.

personally though, i think from what you've said, he's keeping a door wide open for you... return his smiles, and laugh at his jokes. I'm a firm believer in that the guy should always ask the girl. If he's not got the....Caffeine ... to go with the swagger, then he's a dead goose.

#1 tip.

When entering said store, don't look for him, don't think about him, don't go there when you normally wouldnt, just to see if he's there.... you will appear needy and desperate. be cool. Let it happen.
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Haha Thank you, I usually just go in for my coffee and if he's there I'll wait for him to smile, then I smile back. This last time I was a bit hesitant to go over to wait for my coffee where he was, but it seemed to pay off. I also believe the guy should ask the girl out as well. One of my friends ruined my chances with this one guy because she stole my phone and texted him asking him to come over, and she did this on numerous occasions. I doubt he actually believed me when I told him it was my friend and not me... Ugh! I'm the type of girl who waits on the guy to call and if he doesn't he doesn't! I'll just write it down as he's not interested and move on.
 
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Well based off of your post it sounds like he's flirting with you! I would definitely listen to VP-70's advice though. Play it cool and flirt back when you do see him. :)

There is one guy that I've had a crush on for some time now, I work with him which makes things more complex and makes me not want to push for anything. There's some days where I feel like he may be interested in me and then there are other days where I just think he's being friendly. It's hard because he's not the type to 'wear his heart on his sleeve'. I just feel like I'm chasing a ghost sometimes. He is a super sweet guy though- seriously all the girls at work crush over him because he's a breathe of fresh air when it comes to men these days. He's so... Modest. It's gotta be an act! It's working though... Like clockwork. -_-
 
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bSTAR_182 said:
Well based off of your post it sounds like he's flirting with you! I would definitely listen to VP-70's advice though. Play it cool and flirt back when you do see him. :)

There is one guy that I've had a crush on for some time now, I work with him which makes things more complex and makes me not want to push for anything. There's some days where I feel like he may be interested in me and then there are other days where I just think he's being friendly. It's hard because he's not the type to 'wear his heart on his sleeve'. I just feel like I'm chasing a ghost sometimes. He is a super sweet guy though- seriously all the girls at work crush over him because he's a breathe of fresh air when it comes to men these days. He's so... Modest. It's gotta be an act! It's working though... Like clockwork. -_-
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Be careful with the workplace crush! What I always try when I know the person a bit more to see if they're interested is wait on them to say something to me... And sometimes I even ignore them a bit, if they follow me around or initiate the conversation it usually means they like me. Just don't take it too far and be so hard to get you can't be gotten! I've made that mistake too and someone thought I was a stuck up bitch. lol Woops.
 
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Lol yeah, ugh it's annoying. I've tried keeping my distance as well as tried to move on- every time I do something happens where it kind of seems like he's flirting and I fall right back into that trap. Once I'm back in that trap though, I get really mixed signals and feel like I may just be confusing his friendliness with flirting.

I'm usually pretty good with telling whether a guy is interested in me or not... Idk about this kid though. Maybe his mama just raised him to treat all women with respect. lol
 
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bSTAR_182 said:
Lol yeah, ugh it's annoying. I've tried keeping my distance as well as tried to move on- every time I do something happens where it kind of seems like he's flirting and I fall right back into that trap. Once I'm back in that trap though, I get really mixed signals and feel like I may just be confusing his friendliness with flirting.

I'm usually pretty good with telling whether a guy is interested in me or not... Idk about this kid though. Maybe is mama just raised him to treat all women with respect. lol
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I know exactly what you mean. A similar situation is happening to me at the moment, I can't tell if the girl is interested in me or just being friendly. She's married too, but from what she tells me it seems as though she swings that way. When asked about what kind of guys she likes she replies with "I don't really have a type when it comes to guys." and she's said strange things before like "I wish I was a guy, things would be so much easier." and the way she acts towards me is just... Different.

A few weeks ago she asked me to a play with my other friend and her boyfriend. I asked her if her husband was going and she was like "No just you me, ***** and *****" and it seemed like she asked me on a double date... I was sick unfortunately so I couldn't go and ever since then she's been acting odd... Recently she's been ignoring me and I've no idea why. Everytime were around each other though she looks at me a certain way, not the way a straight girl would if you know what I mean? I don't know. I'm so confused with her, she's so cryptic and doesn't reveal much of anything. It's like she speaks in code.

My feelings for her though are definitely beyond a crush, I'm totally head over heels in love (I've known her for 2 years now, but we never quite got to hangout by ourselves... its always with other friends), but I think I should just give up. This is way over my head and I shouldn't mess with married women. lol
 
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Storyofmylife said:
Be careful with the workplace crush! What I always try when I know the person a bit more to see if they're interested is wait on them to say something to me... And sometimes I even ignore them a bit, if they follow me around or initiate the conversation it usually means they like me. Just don't take it too far and be so hard to get you can't be gotten! I've made that mistake too and someone thought I was a stuck up bitch. lol Woops.
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Oh the silly games we play. I fell feet over face in love with a work crush. All i did is the same thing i always do i generally be nice to everyone and try to have friendly conversations, just have a pleasent disposition. It was actually my (and hers) awkwardness that brought us closer together. I hate hiding things or keeping 'baggage' under the table. Thats why i dont usually make friends right off lol. I dont put up a front like i used to and let people pretend i'm normal just so i can have firends....in the end you'll just make things worse for yourself. I'll never forget one of the first conversations that took place at work i had with my girlfriend.

Coworker: Yeah, but who hasnt spent an entire childhood drinking and smoking pot through highschool?
Me:*Raises hand :/*
April: *smug reading a magazine* "That's because youre lame"
Me: Yea probably but i dont regret anything. *walks away*

Truth was she told me she thought i was cute at the time but didnt know how to talk to me or whatever and most of it was her way of just being 'playful'. Ever since then i was interested in her....Who is she to call me lame right? So i started talking to her getting to know her better. We basically exchanged social scars and whatnot. I told her i was super geeky and that i sometimes read the dictionary when i get bored. Then she told me stuff about her. So it kinda just worked out in the end and it all kinda started by her calling me lame.
 
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Well it appears that is a man flirt going on but i can't say yes or no...The reason being is i have a terrible flirt detector. I always think someone is just being nice then later i am pulled back by whoever i am with and told "Can't you see she is flirting with you?" I'm like "Uhh she is just being nice" > "No way she was like etc". Does it really look like i am flirting?:/ I either lack common knowledge with girls or others interpret things way to much.

And why is it only older women who try talk to me? Its really turning me off.
 
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Hoady said:
Well it appears that is a man flirt going on but i can't say yes or no...The reason being is i have a terrible flirt detector. I always think someone is just being nice then later i am pulled back by whoever i am with and told "Can't you see she is flirting with you?" I'm like "Uhh she is just being nice" > "No way she was like etc". Does it really look like i am flirting?:/ I either lack common knowledge with girls or others interpret things way to much.

And why is it only older women who try talk to me? Its really turning me off.
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Well how old are you? I find you appealing. ;) lol Pretty sure I'm older too hahaha
 
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Storyofmylife said:
Well how old are you? I find you appealing. ;) lol Pretty sure I'm older too hahaha
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Lol well thanks, i am 19.I'm not talking a few year age gap, i'm talking mid 30's and single mums! It is an odd trend of older women being way too interested or trying to do something.When this relationship moves on, i am not going to be suckered in by the whole "Its rude to ask a woman their age" uhh yeah not when i am probably the same age as your kids!
 
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Hoady said:
Lol well thanks, i am 19.I'm not talking a few year age gap, i'm talking mid 30's and single mums! It is an odd trend of older women being way too interested or trying to do something.When this relationship moves on, i am not going to be suckered in by the whole "Its rude to ask a woman their age" uhh yeah not when i am probably the same age as your kids!
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Just think though...You and your step son can play on the same college ball team!!
 
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