Is "Lady" offensive?

[cheezMcNASTY]

Right, so long story short I'm a Journalism major. Right now I'm taking a class on editing which is basically learning when to capitalize, when to abbreviate, whether to say "four" or "4," etc.

According to the AP Stylebook, which is what every American journalist owns, the word lady is not allowed to be used to refer to a woman because it is now considered offensive. To prove his point, the professor asked all three of his 36-student classes and 1 girl raised her hand.

May seem minor, but if 1 in 100 does, and you're writing to an audience of thousands, it's better not to.
What I don't understand is what about it is offensive? More often than not I've been asked to call women "lady" (usually when I'm tryin' to swoon 'em ).

 

[Storyofmylife]

That's all new to me. I find it rather complementary when someone calls me a lady, and I'm not quite sure why that would be taken as offensive... but what the hell do I know? I still live in the south where this is the norm and if you don't call a woman a "lady" you're considered rude or offensive.

 

[Springhosen]

I'll be the second to raise my hand and say that this is all news to me. (And very stupid in my opinion, there really are other things the world should be worried about.) Despite this, I would like to add that I appreciate being called a lady to be quite honest.

I live in the South as well and, though I'm not entirely sure how the rest of the world perceives this term, where I live it is a compliment. Any female can be a woman - or a girl, whatever the case - but it is only a higher caliber of woman that is considered a lady; there are certain standards that come with that word, standards I am proud to be associated with.

 

[MissDomino]

So being called a lady is offensive, and calling a woman a "beeeatch" is commonly accepted... I certainly don't understand.

 

[TYLERDM94]

so thats why none of the girls i talk to you like me

 

[Meg]

I actually heard this randomly the other day and was like O____o. But now I'm even more confused because it's in the AP stylebook. Cheez, what year is yours? Mine's from 2009 and I don't recall seeing that in there.

 

[Romero]

Really? I don't understand the problem with "lady". Every word seems to become offensive at some time, and it's stupid how fast this change is taking place now. Also "woman" and "man" is bound to become offensive at some point in the future, but at this rate, it may become offensive before we know it.

What words are we going to replace the "offensive" words with? I don't know any other word that means exactly the same as lady.

New words are fine, but we shouldn't need to switch to new words because some few people all of a sudden decides that some old word is offensive. Earlier it took a long time for words to change their meaning, it was something that happened naturally over centuries. But now the changes are too fast and out of control. I know a long list of words in various languages that were acceptable 5-20 years ago but are now on the taboo-list. I resist this rapid change and I don't care if someone think I'm political incorrect.

I really hate offending people, but if they are offended because I use "old-fashioned" language that used to be acceptable a few years ago then I couldn't care less. "Please feel free to feel offended! It is your right to feel offended, use your right if you wish. But please pity for yourself quietly because I'm not interested."

There will always be a small percentage who are offended by something we say if we talk long enough. We can't please everyone. But don't let the few censor us, don't let them take away our right to free speech which is essential especially for journalism. We should of course be thoughtful and polite, but at the same time we must not be too afraid of offending someone who are too easily offended. In western Europe the right to free speech is under threat - not from legislation but from ourselves. I'm not surprised if it's the same in North America too.

I agree with Magnolia, I do understand lady as a higher caliber woman. Women should take it as a compliment. I guess it is possible to use lady in a derogatory way, but you can use any word in a sarcastic or derogatory way.

 

[Angel]

Unless the word is swiftly followed by: "of horizontal refreshment" or "negotiable affection" then I don't see a problem. I actually find it more...not offensive, but kind of abrupt, to call someone "woman" or "man" in some cases. Example:

I got a letter from a doctor (CC'd in on it as it was a copy of what was sent to my GP). It referred to me throughout as this or that "woman". The overall tone of the letter was kind of hostile - "this woman did such and such" or "that woman did not whatever". Previous correspondence had cited me as either Mrs. Powell (which is my name, by the way, not some random moniker) or "the lady in question/lady from clinic". It was only when I had to cancel an appointment because of transport issues that I became "that woman".

I don't know...as most of you know, I come across as fairly sexist towards women at the best of times but I think there is a time and a place for the choice of words when referring to either sex. When I was working at a hotel, it was deemed to be highly rude to call a customer a man or woman - it was lady or gentleman. It's about courtesy and decorum and being polite, not about trying to cause the least amount of offence.

If I were to be referred to in a particular situation, I'd much prefer "do you see the lady over there" as opposed to "do you see that woman over there". Just seems more polite to me. Of course, tone conveys a wealth of meaning when using either lady or woman, but on the whole I see no justifiable reason why anyone would object to the term lady when used within a pleasant context.

Unless the lady is actually a guy. Then....yeah.

 

[cheezMcNASTY]

EVERYONE I MADE A MISTAKE. The term that you are supposed to use as opposed to ladies is "females," NOT "women." The next time you find yourself with a big-print newspaper in hand, see what they're doing.

So being called a lady is offensive, and calling a woman a "beeeatch" is commonly accepted... I certainly don't understand.

Please understand, this is the AP Stylebook. We're talking about the book that determines what you are allowed to write when you work for a newspaper. These are people who make a living by writing every day for thousands of readers and try their best not to land in a lawsuit from one of them. Believe me, using the wrong language and making one of those readers angry can be the reason you're broke.

I actually heard this randomly the other day and was like O____o. But now I'm even more confused because it's in the AP stylebook. Cheez, what year is yours? Mine's from 2009 and I don't recall seeing that in there.

It's listed under "female." For whatever reason, searching for "woman" turns up no results. It says in the stylebook that this only applies when using it as an adjective (i.e. "the female governor) but professors are all insisting that this extends to all uses of the word.

Really? I don't understand the problem with "lady". Every word seems to become offensive at some time, and it's stupid how fast this change is taking place now. Also "woman" and "man" is bound to become offensive at some point in the future, but at this rate, it may become offensive before we know it.

What words are we going to replace the "offensive" words with? I don't know any other word that means exactly the same as lady.

Sorry if I gave the wrong impression. This is in regards to what words a journalist is allowed to use in the newspaper. Now of course if a female were to identify herself as a lady upon being interviewed, or ask to be identified that way, it's fine. You just can't go around calling anyone a lady these days, because that would just be so ridiculous, wouldn't it?

 

[Angel]

But female sounds so...clinical. So cold and distant and kind of...I dunno...alien? Maybe impersonal is a better term - I'm not so good with words. As an adjective like you described, fair enough. But to use it in every possible incidence seems a little too much and somewhat austere, if that makes sense.

And what if your honorific title is "lady"? Do you have to change it to "female"? I'm being silly now but you never know...

 

[Maestro]

Geez, I call Lady a many of my female friends, because I thought it's nice

 

[Angel]

Geez, I call Lady a many of my female friends, because I thought it's nice

So continue to do so unless someone says they'd rather you didn't call them that

 

[Maestro]

Well, in UK "Lady" is a noble title for woman like a "Sir" for man, so women like this

 

[cheezMcNASTY]

And what if your honorific title is "lady"? Do you have to change it to "female"? I'm being silly now but you never know...

Haha no. I can't speak for certain, since the British press's Stylebook varies (though only slightly). Newspapers don't use courtesy titles at all. Doesn't matter if you have a PhD in anthropology or if you've been knighted. It's a somewhat sly way of saying that nobody, no matter how educated or honored, is above anyone else.

 

[La Femme Fatale]

I've tried contemplating reasons why some people would find this offensive but I'm drawing blanks. At most, I could see the usage as a little old-fashioned for news articles and whatnot that are meant to be written about the present (if that makes sense) and a bit more formally, but meh, I'm going to chalk this one up to someone with a stick in their arse going way out of their way to be offended and some other dickhead humouring them by his or her over-the-top PCness.

I personally enjoy being called lady because it makes me feel more classy than I actually am.

 

[TYLERDM94]

ive heard that it makes some girls feel older by being called a lady so maybe it is to avoid the whole age thing

but thats what i heard so dont hold me to it

i personally dont see the problem with calling someone a lady

 

[La Femme Fatale]

Could be - I know for moi, personally, 'ma'am' makes me feel older than 'lady' does. I've been called ma'am alot lately at work and I'm starting to feel like I'm in the army or something.

 

[Springhosen]

Could be - I know for moi, personally, 'ma'am' makes me feel older than 'lady' does. I've been called ma'am alot lately at work and I'm starting to feel like I'm in the army or something.

Ma'am does make me feel old, especially if it's coming from someone I'm sure is only a few years younger than I am, if not my age. I know it's a sign of respect and manners, though, so I try to grin and bear it.

 

[Romero]

Please understand, this is the AP Stylebook. We're talking about the book that determines what you are allowed to write when you work for a newspaper. These are people who make a living by writing every day for thousands of readers and try their best not to land in a lawsuit from one of them. Believe me, using the wrong language and making one of those readers angry can be the reason you're broke.

The Associated Press is just a news agency, a major news agency but still just a news agency. Who are they to make a book with rules that every American journalist must follow? How did they get this authority? Why?
It's like General Motors making up rules for cars and traffic. GM don't do that.

 

[cheezMcNASTY]

The Associated Press is just a news agency, a major news agency but still just a news agency. Who are they to make a book with rules that every American journalist must follow? How did they get this authority? Why?
It's like General Motors making up rules for cars and traffic. GM don't do that.

It's published by the Associated Press, but it's maintained by a panel of established and decorated editors. It has been the go-to guide on writing for professional publication since 1953. It is constantly being updated to keep up with culture (nobody had to say email back then. Is it written e-mail? e mail? email?) It's not a necessary tool to be able to string together a sentence, but most publications won't take a journalist seriously who doesn't abide by it. The only papers that you wouldn't find it being used in is the small, local fringe publications.

You'd be amazed how stupidly one-sided court cases against journalists are. I'd say 3/4ths of the job is most likely learning how to not get sued.