Stupid, annoying & funny tourists

[Romero]

Quoting thrillist.com:
THE WORST TOURISTS IN THE WORLD
Being a tourist is a lot like being a guest in someone's home: Most people know to wipe their feet at the door and politely try what's served for dinner, but sometimes they forget it's not their own toilet seat they're piѕsing all over. And then there're those a-holes who don't even realize they aren't even supposed to piѕs on the toilet seat. At all. Meet the world-class idiots who, when venturing abroad, make us all look bad.

The Chinese kid who carved his name into an Egyptian temple
15yo Ding Jinhao was so piѕsed at his parents for dragging him all the way from China to see some boring 3,000yo temple that he decided to show them who was boss by scratching his name over the top of an ancient hieroglyphic carving. Yup, that piece of artwork survived 3,000 years of wars, floods, earthquakes, and looters, only to be tagged by a bratty teen.

The American family who ate an extremely rare octopus
American tourist Labros Hydras knew he'd found something unusual when he caught a six-legged octopus while snorkeling in Greece. He was right -- the octopus was so rare that only one had ever been discovered before. What to do with such a precious find? Fry it up and serve it to your family for dinner, of course. "It tasted just like a normal octopus", Hydras later told reporters and horrified locals.

The Norwegian who passed out on an airport luggage belt
A Norwegian tourist showed up drunk at Rome's Fiumicino Airport ready to fly home to Oslo, but he never made it past the bag drop. After checking in, the 36yo curled up on the luggage belt for an afternoon nap, failing to even stir when the conveyor passed him through an X-ray scan. Which, of course, is when airport staff noticed he was not a suitcase, and called the police.

End of quote. There are a few more stories and photos and youtube videos in the article.

Maybe you have some tourist stories to share?

 

[Venomous Oddball]

Once I embarrassed my family and myself by falling asleep in the pool at a hotel. Yes, in the pool. I then proceeded to walk up the stairs to the waterslide, still asleep, clapping and laughing. I woke up after I went down the waterslide and hit my head on the side of the pool. The whole thing was caught on camera, and none of the workers would talk to me the next day. I think I would qualify for a stupid, annoying, and funny tourist. aranoid:

 

[Spikeyroxas]

Many places we have rules against reserving deck chairs by pools with towels. ( we still do this anyway but only when we actually intend to go there after breakfast)

Anyway there's always 'that family' who do this but decide they want to go and do some sight seeing first, thus denying a family the chance to have sunbeds for a bit of the day.
So i have chucked towels in the pool before of families who have not gone to their toweled sunbeds.

 

[Springhosen]

Not really tourism since I'm sure some of the people who do this are transplants but I hate it when people from up north come down south and tell me I talk funny. Sweetheart, I'm at home. There are more people around here who talk like me than you; you talk funny.

When you tell somebody something, it depends on what part of the country you're standing in as to just how dumb you are.

 

[Romero]

Once I embarrassed my family and myself by falling asleep in the pool at a hotel. Yes, in the pool. I then proceeded to walk up the stairs to the waterslide, still asleep, clapping and laughing. I woke up after I went down the waterslide and hit my head on the side of the pool, and it had to be closed for the rest of the day because my nose started bleeding into the pool from hitting the side (my nose is really sensitive). The whole thing was caught on camera, and none of the workers would talk to me the next day. I think I would qualify for a stupid, annoying, and funny tourist. aranoid:

I started reading, thinking "sleeping in a pool? Everybody does that..." then when I read the rest i LOL'd. I understand that you feel it's embarassing but I don't think you should be embarassed. It's a very funny story (except for the fact you got hurt). The workers not talking to you was probably because they was insecure and didn't know how to handle it. Maybe they also thought you were drunk, not sleepwalking.
You can't possibly act stupid in your sleep, so you were just a very funny tourist.
It's a very good story, thanks for sharing.

I've not had many vacations so I've not had too many chances of making a fool of myself. I can't remember anything at the moment, but I'll post it if I recall something. And if it's suitalbe to post.

 

[KevinStriker]

There was one time I was asked to take a photograph for some tourists in Vancouver and they decided to take the time to explain how their disposable camera worked for me, making sure they showed me how the shutter button worked in particular.

ಠ_ಠ

And while more of an example of American ignorance and not a dumb tourist, my mother's cousin from the deep south of the United States asked us how many sled dogs we own over the phone when my mom told her we lived in Canada.

 

[La Femme Fatale]

Having worked as a front desk supervisor in a hotel right smack dab in the middle of Niagara Falls, I should have an arsenal of stories but I've willed myself to forget them. So, I'll just settle with sharing the things that drove me crazy about tourists:

- Americans who are dumbfounded and angry that we can't give them American change. I wouldn't buy something in the US and expect Canadian change... I can't tell you how many people became belligerent over this.
- People who go on vacation with just enough to cover their hotel room. Um, no - when you travel, bring MONEY.
- In my experience, people generally don't think when they are on holidays. Lamps work when they're plugged in - trust me on this.
-Do you use fresh towels everyday at home? No? Thought so.
- Taxes are 16% in Niagara Falls. And yes, you have to pay them when you're here. Sorry about your luck and welcome to our world.

Actually, that reminded me - this was the best moment I ever had with a tourist;
Me: Taxes are 16% here, ma'am.
Guest: No, they aren't. I read that they are 13 + 3.
Me: That sounds right.
Guest: Oh.

And then there was another exchange I remember - we had a group of actors, film producers and crew members in the hotel once. Some of the actors came up to me and this happened;
Me: Sir, you can't drink out here in the lobby. We don't have a liquor license.
Guest; Excuse me, do you know who I am?
Me: No, do you know who I am?
Guest; Yes, your name is *reads name tag*
Me: That's right. No drinking in my lobby.

 

[KevinStriker]

Me: Sir, you can't drink out here in the lobby. We don't have a liquor license.
Guest; Excuse me, do you know who I am?
Me: No, do you know who I am?
Guest; Yes, your name is *reads name tag*
Me: That's right. No drinking in my lobby.

Reminded me of that bit by Eddie Izzard.

Server: You'll need a tray.
Vader: Do you know who I am?
Server: Do you know who I am?
Vader: This is not a game of who the f*ck are you.

 

[Venomous Oddball]

Some more idiotic stories of my vacations! I'm really dumb on vacation.

I once got locked in my hotel room. How it happened, I couldn't figure out. The door just wouldn't open. But nobody else was around, so I was locked in there all day. I didn't call the lobby because I knew I would look like a complete idiot or like I broke the door so I would have to pay for it or something. I eventually did call to get someone to open the door from the outside. Before they came, I decided to try the door again. Turns out, I was twisting the doorknob the wrong way the whole time.

The most recent one, I was at a mall looking for Kernels. I knew I saw it somewhere, but I couldn't remember where. I asked sonebody that was carrying a bag of popcorn from there, and I couldn't figure out why they were looking at me weird. They walked away without answering. I looked around, and realized the store was literally right in front of me.

 

[ChrisRedfield1994]

Having worked as a front desk supervisor in a hotel right smack dab in the middle of Niagara Falls, I should have an arsenal of stories but I've willed myself to forget them. So, I'll just settle with sharing the things that drove me crazy about tourists:

- Americans who are dumbfounded and angry that we can't give them American change. I wouldn't buy something in the US and expect Canadian change... I can't tell you how many people became belligerent over this.
- People who go on vacation with just enough to cover their hotel room. Um, no - when you travel, bring MONEY.
- In my experience, people generally don't think when they are on holidays. Lamps work when they're plugged in - trust me on this.
-Do you use fresh towels everyday at home? No? Thought so.
- Taxes are 16% in Niagara Falls. And yes, you have to pay them when you're here. Sorry about your luck and welcome to our world.

Actually, that reminded me - this was the best moment I ever had with a tourist;
Me: Taxes are 16% here, ma'am.
Guest: No, they aren't. I read that they are 13 + 3.
Me: That sounds right.
Guest: Oh.

And then there was another exchange I remember - we had a group of actors, film producers and crew members in the hotel once. Some of the actors came up to me and this happened;
Me: Sir, you can't drink out here in the lobby. We don't have a liquor license.
Guest; Excuse me, do you know who I am?
Me: No, do you know who I am?
Guest; Yes, your name is *reads name tag*
Me: That's right. No drinking in my lobby.

Never has your sig been more apt, I believe.

Think the funniest moment as a tourist was this cross-Europe trip two years back. We all had this habit of shouting "Alan" and "Steve" like in this show "On The Wild Side". When we stopped in Prague, we congregated in and around this wonderful pizzeria near the hostel and - you guessed it - proceeded to shout Alan and Steve. Only, we weren't alone. We heard these accented voices from above us and looked up to see these three Czechs replying to our calls. This went on for a solid 30 minutes before we wandered off to get drinks. This didn't actually stop, as we could still hear them from around the corner.

We nearly capsized a gondola in Venice; my friend and I are, you see, quite large and thought that we'd have to compensate for our weight by sitting awkwardly to ensure that the boat was not tipping. The gondolier must've thought he had England's most moronic in his gondola as he chastised us for moving. We conceded we were at fault, at which point the gondolier began to sing Amore and One Cornetto.

 

[Loki]

When I was in Paris a couple of years ago with my sister, we went to a retautant to have some food. We ordered, everything was great (I had a pizza ^_^). Anyway we were sat behind these other English people and they were being really rude, complaining the food was disgusting and cold, not even trying to speak french, basically they were just being disrespectful. I kind of hoped that they would spit in their food. When we left I almost felt the need to apologise to the waiters on England's behalf haha.