Signs that you are (not) in the friend-zone

[Mr Sunshine]

Are you concerned about someone might or might not be interested in you? Are you confused with the signs you are getting? Post them here and maybe someone can explain them better for you.


About me, there's this girl in my dance class which I barely talk to and one days she proceeds to ask whether i'll attend the party our dancing-school is organising. She also gives me her phone number without me asking it. At this point, I'm almost sure she not into me. I mean, never in my life had a girl straight come up to me and ask my about my plans like that. She was obviously looking to get to know more people considering the fact we were just getting started with the classes. During the party she has no problem pointing out cute guys in front of me and she also tells me she's in a relatioship for 2.5 years. She is also 4 years older than me. lol

On the flip side, I have drove her home twice and she had no trouble walking arm in arm with me till my car bacuase apparently she hurt her knee on a door. She did accept that her behavior doesn't hint she is in a relatioship and she mentioned she barely sees her bf nowsays due to work. She also always compliments me on how well i dance but then again most people there do.

Anyway, I'm prety sure i'm in deep in the friendzoneon on that one. She is full of confidence and more mature than me which leads her to actions that i usually translate differently. I just wanted some confirmation. One can also claim that she may be taking advantage of me, but i have other issues right now, so I'm totally ok with that. in fact i like it

Your turn!

 

[Popo]

Well in my opinion I think you are in the friendzone(trust me, I have experience xD) but it all comes down to you. Do you like her or not? If you don't well then I don't think that the friendzone is a problem but if you do, well it's complicated, just don't let yourself get your hopes up, don't let her take too much advantage of you(unless you can make profit and take advantage yourself xD)

 

[Mr Sunshine]

Thank you for the confirmation mister! xD Well, i've caught myself thinking of her from time to time but it's not like i'll cut my veins or anything. lol And don't worry i'm not expecting much

 

[Popo]

But remember it's just my opinion, I'm not the most appealing guy around women so it's probably just me.

 

[L]

If your instant reaction to a woman walking up to you and trying to be friendly is to gauge whether or not she's interested in you, you're not ready for a relationship.
Psst...Same thing if you think the friendzone exists. It doesn't.

 

[La Femme Fatale]

Speaking as a woman who has dated several men in my 24 years, yes, the friend zone exists and yes, unfortunately it seems to be a case here, Fallen. But you're a cute boy - a cute girl will come around sooner or later!

 

[Mr Sunshine]

If your instant reaction to a woman walking up to you and trying to be friendly is to gauge whether or not she's interested in you, you're not ready for a relationship.
Psst...Same thing if you think the friendzone exists. It doesn't.

HAHAHA! I am being schooled by a 13(?) year old boy. That is embarrassing!

Perhaps you are confusing me with some kind of teenager who cries about girls friendzoning "good" guys. I'm not. I'm only saying that firendzone is when a woman doesn't see you as a potential partner. Nothing more, nothing less. Guys can friendzone ass well.

You are partially right about the first one though. I wrote this thread in hindsight. I wasn't actually thinking whether or not she interested in me the exact moment we were talking. However, being socially nervous in situations like that forces you to spend a lot of your attention in signs from other people that hint approval or disapproval. You care too much about "not looking stupid" and this leaves you little to no room to actually participate in a conversation. Eventually, the person will probably notice that something is wrong with you(Your anxiety will make mumble or not talk too much for example), which is a big turn-off whether you are looking for a date or you just want to meet someone.

I like your attitude.

Speaking as a woman who has dated several men in my 24 years, yes, the friend zone exists and yes, unfortunately it seems to be a case here, Fallen. But you're a cute boy - a cute girl will come around sooner or later!

But Femme, I'm looking for mature sophisticated women who are older than me and have big breasts!!! It's hard to get those when you radiate insecurity.

 

[L]

HAHAHA! I am being schooled by a 13(?) year old boy. That is embarrassing!

Perhaps you are confusing me with some kind of teenager who cries about girls friendzoning "good" guys. I'm not. I'm only saying that firendzone is when a woman doesn't see you as a potential partner. Nothing more, nothing less. Guys can friendzone ass well.

You are partially right about the first one though. I wrote this thread in hindsight. I wasn't actually thinking whether or not she interested in me the exact moment we were talking. However, being socially nervous in situations like that forces you to spend a lot of your attention in signs from other people that hint approval or disapproval. You care too much about "not looking stupid" and this leaves you little to no room to actually participate in a conversation. Eventually, the person will probably notice that something is wrong with you(Your anxiety will make mumble or not talk too much for example), which is a big turn-off whether you are looking for a date or you just want to meet someone.

I like your attitude.

Was starting off with an insult really the best way to begin your argument? I'm 14 now, and even if I was 13, being knowledgeable on a subject doesn't come with age, it comes with research or some form of experience. Trust me, I've seen enough people on the internet, usually men, complaining that someone doesn't want to **** them after they did something nice. While I admit, I did at first assume that you had a fedora on as you were typing, is there really an issue with a woman or a man not seeing someone as a potential partner? You shouldn't have to ask others who are unrelated to everything whether or not she's into you, you've gotta try your luck, and if she's already in a relationship, I'd just stay away from the subject until she finishes things herself.

As someone with social anxiety, I can see where you're coming from, though. Even talking to friends I've had for years leaves me in fear that I've said something abnormal. I guess my words were a little harsh, and I expected that you were typing the post purely from your memory at the moment and not in hindsight, so I was being stupid as well. I'm almost positive that we have different definitions of friendzone, and I'm going to stick with mine, so I stand by my second opinion.

 

[Mr Sunshine]

Was starting off with an insult really the best way to begin your argument? I'm 14 now

Right, 14. I got a little bit stuck in the past. Adolescent is more appropriate. Still, being young is not an insult, unless you are not comfortable with it. It was not meant to be taken that way.

, and even if I was 13, being knowledgeable on a subject doesn't come with age, it comes with research or some form of experience. Trust me, I've seen enough people on the internet, usually men, complaining that someone doesn't want to **** them after they did something nice. While I admit, I did at first assume that you had a fedora on as you were typing, is there really an issue with a woman or a man not seeing someone as a potential partner? You shouldn't have to ask others who are unrelated to everything whether or not she's into you, you've gotta try your luck, and if she's already in a relationship, I'd just stay away from the subject until she finishes things herself.

Indeed, knowledge doesn't come with age, experience does. Which is as important.

Yes, there is an issue when someone you desire sexually doesn't see you the same way. Chances, you are doing something wrong. And if it has to do with your behavior you better fix it.

I would have tried out my lack had she not been in a relationship.

Btw, I forgot to add to my definition that the person doesn't find you sexually attractive, even though he/she enjoys spending time with you. What is your definition anyway?

 

[L]

Btw, I forgot to add to my definition that the person doesn't find you sexually attractive, even though he/she enjoys spending time with you. What is your definition anyway?

Doing small favors for someone you're attracted to and expecting sexual favors in return, so pretty much a neckbeard or fedora wearing 20 year old who has no idea how attraction works.

 

[Popo]

Psst...Same thing if you think the friendzone exists. It doesn't.

It does, the thing is people tend to use the term under the wrong conditions. It doesn't happen instantly, I was in love with a girl for years and we were best friends but she never loved me back. I didn't blame her though, some people just aren't meant to be together.