RE5: Funny shorts.

[Drake Sykes Hellion]

Basically a bunch of funny short stories about how some things don't add up in RE5, not meant to be taken seriously, this is purely for laughs.

first one:Retarded amounts of bullets.
Chris and Sheva had just finished destroying their mission, riding in the helicopter they were exhuasted, but bored too.

Chris then realised something, taking out his M9 he began examining it, looking at it oddly.

Sheva glanced at him, raising a brow she asked "Something wrong?"

Chris nodded "yeah, you ever notice we never need to reload these things?" he asked holding up the handgun.

Sheva looked confused then, it did seem odd, they had never once reloaded in this whole adventure, hell, when she ran out of ammo from those motorcycle Majini, her pistol suddenly had more bullets, no ejecting the magazine or anything.

"You're right...I never noticed till now" she admitted, now examining hers, ejecting the mag she saw it had ten shots, now she was really confused "this is weird..." she muttered.

Chris nodded, pointing his weapon to the sky he fired ten times

B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BOOM!

pulling it back and ejecting the mag, what do you know, full "wow...How did we never notice this before?" he asked more to himself then to Sheva,

"hmm...Josh!" she called, Josh turned to her.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Have you ever reloaded your handgun?" she asked.

He opened his mouth to speak "ye...wait...no, not at all..." he replied, his brows furrowing in thought "I must've, this thing only holds ten shots...I fired at least five hundred this whole ordeal" he explained.

Jill glanced at them "so you guys have a retardedly large magazine size, so what? would you prefer to run out of bullets?" she asked.

the three shook their heads.

end.
That's all i got for now, sorry if it wasn't that funny.

 

[Zombie Enclave]

That's actually pretty true. It seemed like they were reloading the same mag over and over again. Lol.

 

[Drake Sykes Hellion]

yeah it did, which bugs me lol.

but now the second addition.

Second: the shopping.
Chris and Sheva buy and sell stuff at the shop, but who do they sell it to? who else...

Chris and Sheva walked to a safe locatio, seeing a small computer terminal and a small little safe beside, Chris walked over to it, turning it on "What are ya sellin?" a voice asked through the small speakers.

Chris placed a diamond, three rubies and a few brown beetles inside the safe. closing it there was a bright light and then the safe opened again and the items were replaced by gold bars and coins.

Chris took some of the coins and bars, plaing them in the safe along with his handgun.

"What are ya buyin?" the voice asked.

"Can I get a capacity upgrade for my handgun?" he asked through the mic stand.

"heheh, a wise choice mate" and the safe closed, bright light again and the handgun was sitting there, Chris pulled it out and sure enough, from 15 rounds to 20.

"Thanks" he said calmly, the voice chuckled.

"My turn" Sheva said as Chirs moved outta the way, putting a golden idol in the safe she closed.

"Ah! I'll buy it at a high price!" the voice stated greedily, the bight light returned and there was again more gold bars and coins.

"hmm...Grenade launcher will do" she murmuered as she bought it.

"Not only will you need cash, but you'll need guts to but that weapon!" the voice stated as they completed thwe transaction.

turning to leave they began to walk away "Come back anytime!" the voice called.

yes, they sell to none other the Merchent from RE4, after nearly being blown up he decided that it was too dangerous to seel sell things in person, so he built sell stalls across the world, currently richer then Bill Gates he is.

 

[Nosophoros]

Sorry for the stupid question, but since I've never played RE5 I have to ask, does this "safe" shopping stuff actually happen in the game?

 

[Drake Sykes Hellion]

No, no it doesn't, you just go to a menu, basic buy sell and such.

 

[Nosophoros]

Oh, well that sounds kind of dull....

 

[Drake Sykes Hellion]

It is dull.
but it works