Character poems

[Hel]

Work is such a wonderful place! Where else do you get to spend hours in a place you don't want to be, doing things you don't want to do, and talking to people you don't like, all at once? And if you get bored, you can always write poems about RE characters, which is what I did today, and I thought I should share them with my friends here.

Ada:
I never explain and I never wait
Not for my boyfriend and not for the state
Now you see me, now you do not
With me, you never know what you've got

Claire:
I tend to show up where I shouldn't be
Resulting in somebody kidnapping me
I'll look after your kids while we're on the run
But if they get infected, it won't be no fun

Chris:
I'm stalking my sister, my enemy, and Jill
Remembering the duty I have to fulfil:
When there's monsters to fight and civilians to save
I'll lead my whole army right into the grave

Leon:
Have you ever wondered why I always survive?
Here is my recipe for a long life:
Chase after women who don't really care
Run from explosions and dress up your hair

Sheva:
My patnah and I are the best on the stage
He has my back and I have his rage
When we stomp enemies into the curb
And I keep shouting: "I need an herb!"

Jill:
I may not be smart, but gifted as hell
I play the piano and sing very well
Unlocking doors is as easy as to fart
Now if only I could unlock Chris's heart

Piers:
I'm the best driver the heavens have got
My rifle never misses a shot
The afterlife could be so great as it is
The only thing that's missing is Chris

Wesker:
Complete global saturation
Absolute world domination
Each day in hell I dream of this
The only thing that's missing is CHRIIIS!

More to come... maybe. Depends on how interesting work is.

 

[Loki]

Piers:
I'm the best driver the heavens have got
My rifle never misses a shot
The afterlife could be so great as it is
The only thing that's missing is Chris

Y u do this? :'(

 

[Venomous Oddball]

Wesker's could be a heavy metal song. :lol:

 

[bSTAR_182]

Those are awesome! Nice work!

Of course I love Chris' the most. :biggrin: It was kind of dark and Sheva's was cute too haha

 

[Hel]

Y u do this? :'(

Hey, don't be sad - Piers is in the heavens enjoying his afterlife, surrounded by angels, still getting to drive, or rather ride the divine carriage and shoot Cupid's arrows with his rifle! All is good. And it seems that Chris has someone waiting for him wherever he goes after dying, so that's good too, I suppose. :razz:

Wesker's could be a heavy metal song. :lol:

Sounds about right! He should put on Chris's Heavy Metal outfit from RE5 while singing it.

Of course I love Chris' the most. :biggrin: It was kind of dark

Really? Knowing you, I assumed you were going to like Wesker's best, especially with that last line, but I'm glad you liked Chris's and Sheva's too. :biggrin:

 

[bSTAR_182]

Oh I definitely loved that one too mwahaha. Chris has always been the missing piece to his puzzle.

 

[Hel]

Back at work, so here's a few more.

Rebecca:
The brightest student in chemistry class
I never had to do much to pass
So I did the most logical thing and got hired
By Raccoon Police where my skills aren't required

Sherry:
Codename Supergirl, tougher than I look
I was sent to Edonia to protect some crook
But I've never seen the world and things went bad
So he ended up saving my ass instead

Jake:
The son of a villain and some random witch
I'm a nobody hoping to someday get rich
But instead of being born with my father's smile
I somehow inherited his fighting style

Alex:
I've been told what I'm trying to do is insanity
The truth is I'm doing it because of my vanity
Don't care if my new body has a dick and/or tits
As long as I get rid of my wrinkles and zits

Barry:
What is this? It's Barry, the master of sandwiches
Quoting my cheesy lines got out of hand, bitches
Won't be Chris's blood next time my Magnum sings
It's especially useful against living things

Lottie:
I'm a cute little bear and I bring you luck
Unless you don't love me, then I'm creepy as f**k
The sword in my paws is not just a glitch
So gosharooney*, you little bitch!

* If "gosharooney" is not fitting in this context, the reason could be either Lottie's insanity, or that I have no idea what the hell this term even means. I prefer the former.