How to not drive your boyfriend/girlfriend insane

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La Femme Fatale

La Femme Fatale

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Mar 16, 2009
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So, anyway, I decided to throw myself back in the dating pool after taking a break from disaster after disaster... so I was thinking it might be helpful to share some dating tips. So, ladies and gents, what kind of behaviour turns you off or drives you away from your partner in a relationship? Other than snoring and leaving the toilet seat up, that is. On the other hand, what things do you appreciate about your partner(s)? Share!
 
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Three things always get any lady i'm in company with off to a good start.
1, No showing off
2, Doesn't compare you to their last partner
and
3, Good temperment.

I have to say though,

A girl who doesn't switch her Phone off during the date is a touch, taxing.
 
It's probably very different for me being married and all, but being able to respect my other half is very important to me - if I can't respect him, I can't take him seriously or even be bothered to entertain his opinion on anything. And then the relationship becomes very one-sided and hard work.

Trust, commitment, communication - all the usual boxes in those areas need ticking too. Above all, someone who takes me as I am but loves me too much to let me stay that way if any of it is going to be detrimental to me and our relationship. Such as my drinking, for example. I quit for Steve - it was the right thing to do and it was beneficial for me even if we hadn't stayed together. Steve puts me first too which makes me want to do the same for him so neither of us ever lose out. Give-give works much better than give-take.
 
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wow all that stuff angel said lol :p

also never lie about where you're going, if you go to a friends house or to a strip club with another girlfriend LET HER KNOW!!
 
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I get irked by clingy guys, and I imagine it's vice versa as well. I need to have my girl nights out without a boyfriend complaining about that we don't spend every second of every day together. It's SO important to have your own identity in a relationship. Attached at the hip relationships are kinda boring.

Also, don't insult my friends with homophobic remarks about how you think my gay best friend is coming onto you.
 
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La Femme Fatale said:
I get irked by clingy guys, and I imagine it's vice versa as well. I need to have my girl nights out without a boyfriend complaining about that we don't spend every second of every day together. It's SO important to have your own identity in a relationship. Attached at the hip relationships are kinda boring.

Also, don't insult my friends with homophobic remarks about how you think my gay best friend is coming onto you.
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I'm sure you wouldnt mind Bowie attached to your hip...or other body part :p.

Does that happen alot. Guys (your interested in) thinking your gay friends are coming onto them
 
Bowie is the only person I wouldn't mind being permanently attached to in any way, shape or form. :P But I do require most others to respect my space bubble.

And yeah, I had two boyfriends - one who was really obnoxious in particular that kept calling my friend a fag and complaining about us spending time together because that guy I was seeing didn't like him around. It irritated the hell out of me - suffice to say that relationship didn't last long.
 
I once had this ****er who was constantly commenting on my weight! I may be thin but come on dude just look at yourself!!!

Capcomplicated said:
wow all that stuff angel said lol :p

also never lie about where you're going, if you go to a friends house or to a strip club with another girlfriend LET HER KNOW!!
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I'll add to that that if you want to go to a strip club you should allow your mate to go as well. If you don't want to go find someone who doesn't want as well. But that is obvious. Duh.
 
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FalleN said:
I had once this ****** who was constantly commenting on my weight! I may be thin but come on dude just look at yourself!!!

I'll add to that that if you want to go to a strip club you should allow your mate to go as well. If you don't want to go find someone who doesn't want as well. But that is obvious. Duh.
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Well if your other half is working or otherwise obligated elsewhere, The invitation is implied as actually inviting her would be an insult unless she was able to free up her schedule. But I agree otherwise
 
La Femme Fatale said:
I am also slightly creeped out by guys who tell me they love me after one or two dates. All it succeeds in doing is making me feel uncomfortable and awkward.
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I'd like to touch on this, in a way. I began to grow uneasy with my ex when I started to realize that he used "I love you" loosely, if that makes any sense. He told his best friend/previous lover that he loved her...and he had a few other female "friends" that he said the same thing to. The bad thing about it is that he would say it right in front of me.

"I love you" is a very strong choice of words, in my eyes at least.
 
I appreciate a woman that likes to joke around and have fun but not to the point of partying all day, everyday. I also appreciate a woman that allows us men to do some of the housework (I bet the rest of you guys are looking at me like I have the plague) and a woman with intelligence. The last couple I've been with were as thick as two short planks... (I.E: one asked me where Russia is... No joke she was dead serious)
But I hate women that don't know when to stop or when to switch off, I hate a woman that values herself over everything else in the world and I especially dislike women that have fun from laughing at other people's problems/disabilities
 
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Normally not one to go to for advice in this area. But I have say That communication and understanding are key to a successful relationship. If your mate does/says something that bothers/offends you Tell them. It is better to sort that drama out then let it build up till you just can't stand them cause of those little things. This goes both ways Make sure your mate knows to point out any little quirks of yours that bothers them as well. It needs to go both ways other wise you can make your mate bitter. Be willing to try and look at things from their point of view as well no matter how contradictory or idiotic it might seem. While a agreeing on everything is pointless and boring not looking at it from your better half's perspective can lead to unnecessary arguments. Last but not least if you have a bad day don't take it out on your mate it just leads to fights/makes them bitter towards you.
That is my advice LoL not that deep I know but that's the best advice I can give
 
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Clingy-ness as mentioned before. It's not a good look ESPECIALLY when the other wants to spend every waking minute with you, we all need space and time apart also makes the yearning for the other grow. Folks need to learn how to manage that it realllllyy kills the feelings I have for someone when every waking, conscious moment they're around, even more, when they get MAD at you for going out to either spend time by yourself or have fun with other friends.

The other one is when they want you to "change" it's like a DIY make up project for them. I'm more than likely not going to change my habits and my general self just to please one person i've only known for a few weeks unless you make me fully realize what's wrong with me/whatever I'm doing OR you have made such a major impact on my life.

What I do like is badass chicks and mean when appropriate, not bitchy for uncalled reasons. Girls seem to hide it and you only see it the more you get comfy with someone or until I mention what I like after one of those offhand STEALTH questions girls do to find out what a dude likes in a girl. Girls that can stand on their own two feet are a majjjjoooorrr plus/turn on, atleast for me anyways.
 
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sadistic_greyfox said:
Clingy-ness as mentioned before. It's not a good look ESPECIALLY when the other wants to spend every waking minute with you, we all need space and time apart also makes the yearning for the other grow. Folks need to learn how to manage that it realllllyy kills the feelings I have for someone when every waking, conscious moment they're around, even more, when they get MAD at you for going out to either spend time by yourself or have fun with other friends.

The other one is when they want you to "change" it's like a DIY make up project for them. I'm more than likely not going to change my habits and my general self just to please one person i've only known for a few weeks unless you make me fully realize what's wrong with me/whatever I'm doing OR you have made such a major impact on my life.

What I do like is badass chicks and mean when appropriate, not bitchy for uncalled reasons. Girls seem to hide it and you only see it the more you get comfy with someone or until I mention what I like after one of those offhand STEALTH questions girls do to find out what a dude likes in a girl. Girls that can stand on their own two feet are a majjjjoooorrr plus/turn on, atleast for me anyways.
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AMEN.

Another thing that kind of annoys me are guys who are overly submissive. I do require respect, but there's only so much grovelling and other such activities I can handle. I don't want you to agree with everything I have to say or do everything I tell you to do. It's... just... not... attractive.

And that's coming from me, your friendly neighbourhood feminist.
 
La Femme Fatale said:
AMEN.

Another thing that kind of annoys me are guys who are overly submissive. I do require respect, but there's only so much grovelling and other such activities I can handle. I don't want you to agree with everything I have to say or do everything I tell you to do. It's... just... not... attractive.

And that's coming from me, your friendly neighbourhood feminist.
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See i'm all for women and men being equals, its the way everything should be looked at, but you mentioned being a feminist...so i wanted to know what your take on chivalry was/is..
 
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