I first joined this site in 2009 with my original ID being Fallen for those who don't remember me. Was spamming this place for the first 3-4 years and come back just now after a very long hiatus.
Never believing in myself, it was here that I first ever felt a bit confident. I was surprised how people would call me funny and flirty. Me - the quiet kid who would barely say a world to most people IRL. Recently, I also realized they highly narcissistic nature of myself which was also depicted here (I was/am trying way too hard many times just to get this sweet attention lol). Ironically, this was never a problem IRL as I was always shy and never showed my true self. Nowdays that I'm a bit more open I have to keep it it check or it can ruin many relationships.
Ever since I came here I've started and finished my bachelors and masters degree in computer science. I've also fulfilled my (obligatory) military service. It's 9 months here in Greece. One year ago I started working in a research center. Last week they told me I can do a phd if I want to, but I'm not sure this academic work suits me. We will see.
Highly competitivive and never satisfied with myself, I always do the mistake of comparing myself with others. I always wonder if what I've accomplished all these years is enough or maybe I'm just a lazy bastard. haha. I've lost some years yeah but I try to think that it could be worse. Tremor, once told me to not be so hard on myself. It was only recently that realised that one as well lol (where are you tremz?) .
Apart from being hard on myself, I'm also hard in general and always enjoy sexual innuendos if you haven't noticed.
Back in 2013 I started latin dancing (salsa, bachata and kizomba). I enjoy dancing plus it is a great way to socialize. I met my first girlfriend there and after 5 1/2 years of relatioship we broke up 3 months ago. I was making progress all these years regarding my social anxiety but it was baby steps as I was complacent in my relationship.
So this break up, was the breaking point. I took dancing to the next level going to 4 parties a week, trying to feel more comfortable with bachata and kizomba as they are more romantic dances and I always felt awkward when I was not dancing with my gf. I didn't stop there. I went to luna parks and teleferics alone just to fight my phobia of heights. I also traveled with airplane which I hadn't done in 10 years.
That was before the virus. Then, they told that my previous lifestyle that I despise is the norm now. Are you kidding me? Anway I still took the time to ride a bike without stabilizers for the first time and tried to be more active on social media. Online I'm more relaxed yeah as long as it is anonimous. So yeah those posts in facebook that I made are also an achievement.
For now though, I can't do anything else. Mark my words though. When this is all over I'm going to **** things up
PS: Nice thread op. Especially for us narcissistic mother****** hahahah Sorry, I just had to write all this