Let's laugh

[Cheer]

Well i think wr need a thread like this. You know because its fun.

Two atoms are in a bar. One says, 'I think I lost an electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' To which the other replies, 'I'm positive.'

 

[Airaku]

"Two whales walk into a bar. The first whale goes ooOOOOooooOooOoOOOOoooOoOoOOooo. The second Whale goes. Shut up Steve. Your wasted."

 

[blivvy]

A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch".

What do you call a Spanish streaker? Señor Willy.

Yea I know, they're terrible

 

[Airaku]

Albert Wesker walked into a bar and looked at an invisible cat and said "Mew mew mew mew mew mew MEOW!"

 

[Cheer]

Why did the rooster cross the road? Because the chicken was in another house.

 

[mjk321]

a blind man walked into a bar....
and a table.....and a chair.

 

[Airaku]

Why did @KRSkull not use a bar joke? Because overdosed his alcohol.

 

[Venomous Oddball]

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam".

 

[Hel]

Why did God steal a rib from his first man to create a woman? - Because he wanted to demonstrate that nothing good ever comes out of theft.

Why did God create the woman after the man? - Because the first attempt always fails.

 

[Airaku]

Why did the Pretzel try to press charges against his daddy (cooker)? Because he was A-salted.

 

[blivvy]

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.

 

[Hel]

A man drives down a country road in his car. On the passenger seat is his pudding, who has been singing and dancing and singing and dancing for a while now.
The driver says: "Thank you for this display of your talents, but I think it's enough now."
The pudding keeps singing and dancing.
The driver gets a little angry: "Alright, pudding, this is getting annoying. Stop it!"
But the pudding still keeps singing and dancing and singing and dancing.
Now the driver is really pi$$ed off: "Stop it right now or I'll throw you out of the window!"
Still unimpressed, the pudding continues to sing and dance. So the driver winds down his window and throws the pudding out.

*awkward silence*

 

[Airaku]

And then the Pudding hit Jack Black. Causing Jack Black to wipe out on his motorcycle. He got really ****ed off and took one bite of the pudding and then kicked it off the bridge.

 

[Cheer]

A serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's... nose drips.

Q: What did the chemical agent say?
A: My name is Bond, Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared

 

[Venomous Oddball]

The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

 

[Spikeyroxas]

Two snare drums and a symbol fall down the stairs

Ba dum tsss

 

[Hel]

Two lovers, a man and a woman, are having dinner at a restaurant. The woman goes to the bathroom to powder her nose, and when she returns, she finds a little box on her plate, presumably put there by her boyfriend. Full of excitement, she opens it - but what's inside? ... The pudding! And it sings and dances and sings and dances....

 

[blivvy]

I don't get these pudding jokes. I must be missing something?

Anyway, how do u get pikachu onto a bus? Poke em on.

 

[Venomous Oddball]

What did one wall say to the other?
"Meet you at the corner!"

Yes, I know it's awful. I loved it when I was a kid for some reason, though. The main source of laughter with it is how awful it is.

 

[Hel]

I don't get these pudding jokes. I must be missing something?

Where I live, those are called "spare jokes". They're not actually funny, and that's why they're funny. You're waiting for a punchline that just won't come, all of a sudden the joke is told and you're like: Wait, what? But then you laugh anyway because it's so ridiculous. Unless you don't.

I had a friend who was so in love with this stupid pudding joke that she would buy me icecream every time I told it to her. So naturally, I told it to her a lot.

By the way, are "Your mother" jokes popular here? Because I know some good ones...