Question of the Week #1: Should Sex Ed be Left to Parents?

[La Femme Fatale]

I'm super sorry guys - I said a few weeks ago I'd start this up again and I totally forgot to.

The concept is simple dimple - each week a new topic will be open for discussion. I won't lock previous questions for now. If anyone has an idea they would like to see discussed, don't hesitate to contact me.

As usual, you are welcome to have as spirited a discussion as you like. It crosses the line when insults and attacks begin to be thrown around, and at that point will be locked. TLDR - just be civil.

This week's question - should sexual education be taught in schools or is this up to the parents to teach?

 

[Venomous Oddball]

I think it should be up to parents. It's not as awkward and the parents get to choose when to talk to their kids about it. My mom talked to me about it when I was maybe in grade two, and the school didn't start talking about it until grade ten. By that time half (a bit of an exaggeration) the girls in the grade were pregnant because their parents decided to leave it up to the school.

 

[Leons-sexy-hair]

Both, because some kids don't have good father and mother figures to discuss it with. Also kids will take it more seriously if they hear a professional talk about it over their parents.

I failed the male diagram test in 8th grade so what do I know. I guess the gonads are not the penis.

 

[Jen]

I think it should be both too. Parents should tell their children about the basics, and then anyone who doesn't have parents to tell them gets the information from Sex Ed. I got told about it by my mum when I was maybe 7 or 8. I don't know how it is nowadays but when I was in school we did basic Sex Ed in Year 6 in school (that's age 10-11, I'm not sure what grade that is) and then again when we were in secondary school. I think that was ideal because you learn about it before stuff like that happens.

There are also the people that wouldn't feel comfortable asking their questions in a class full of people, and so they prefer to ask their parents if they feel more comfortable that way. They still benefit from being taught but they have the parents to back up this information.

 

[Loki]

It should definitely be compulsory in schools, parents should also teach it to their kids but in many cases this doesn't happen so there's no way it should be left to them, some kids may not be as fortunate in having parents as open as others.

As a gay man, I was very confused when I was younger due to the lack of information given to me by my school and especially my parents. They didn't teach me that stuff because they didn't think they needed to, but obviously leaving it out made me confused about my sexuality until I reached that part secondary school when it was talked about.

Sex Ed should definitely be taught earlier in schools and kids should be able to feel able to talk to their parents openly about it but it shouldn't only be taught by parents because there's no way to enforce it.

 

[La Femme Fatale]

So, the reason I asked this was because my government just introduced its new Health and Physical Education Curriculum, to be implemented this fall. We haven't updated our curriculum for 15 yeas, and the world has changed alot since then - and yet, we've had hundreds and hundreds of protests from mostly religious nuts and immigrants who are unhappy with the curriculum as they feel it's not age appropriate.

The problem I have with the argument that sex-ed should be taught solely by the parents is that so many parents don't ever talk about sex with their kids. Mine didn't - I was a bit of an early bloomer and I didn't know what a period was when I first got mine - I remember so clearly thinking I was dying.

Likewise, as I was growing up, the internet was not something we yet had at our fingertips. We had one computer in the living room, and boy - was every keystroke monitored. I wasn't allowed to speak to strangers. Now, kids have access to the internet on their phones. They could be chatting to who-the-hell-knows-who in their bed at 11 at night.

And lastly - to Loki's point, I've had a ton of people complain that the new sex ed speaks to and 'normalizes' (their words, not mine) same-sex relationships and they're not happy about it. However, here in Canada, same-sex marriages are perfectly legal and we have a Charter of Rights and Freedoms that dictates that everyone must be treated fairly and with respect. If you're not happy about it, you can leave. But it's only teaching what's right in the Charter/ the Constitution of Canada.

So obviously I'm a proponent of sex ed.

 

[Venomous Oddball]

I think it should be a system like, the parents tell their kids about it, but the school sends out forms to see what kids need to get taught about it still, and nurses take them seperately out of class or something. And it shouldn't be after grade three or four. But that's just my opinion.

 

[La Femme Fatale]

Getting a nurse to privately speak to each individual child who needs 'the bird and the bees' would be a tremendous cost onto the taxpayers, though.

 

[Scrumpeh]

Well, for starters: I didn't really learn anything from Sex Ed at school. There was a video shown to the whole class and people wouldn't stop laughing to the point where it was canceled. I was taught how things worked by my parents.

I personally would leave it to the parents to teach this kind of thing, as I feel that something like that would get in the way of the student's studies.

 

[Springhosen]

AHHH!!!! I love that the Question of the Week is back!!! *does dance*

And no, I don't think it should be left up to the parents. Yes the parents should play a role but there are also so many problems that come with leaving this in the parents hands:

• Uninvolved parents
• Bad parents (Drug addicts, alcoholics, etc.)
• Parents who are just bad at the sex talk and pretty much cop-out when it comes to talking about it
• Super awkward religious parents whose idea of the talk is: "Sex is something for married people and you don't need to be concerned about it." Because honestly in the world we now live in, who waits? No one. If you cop-out and just give that generic, stone-age statement your kid is going to be stupid. Just because you feel that you should wait doesn't mean your child should be ignorant to sex period until they are married.

Both schools and parents have to step up to inform, prepare and moralize the issue to young people in their own way.

 

[Venomous Oddball]

Getting a nurse to privately speak to each individual child who needs 'the bird and the bees' would be a tremendous cost onto the taxpayers, though.

That's true. It was just a big waste of time when the nurse that talked to my class came, because most of us already knew. But you're right.

 

[La Femme Fatale]

And you've just noted the problem - its with the actual curriculum itself. Curriculums should be evolving to better target the concerns and issues related to sex that youth are confronted with. Yes, begin with 'this is a penis and this is a vagina and this is how babies are made', but it has to become more sophisticated than that. The concept of consent - and not with regards to consent to sex per say, but in that 'no means no' is one thing on the top of my mind that I think is super important for young people to learn.

I remember, back when I worked at a hotel, we had this group of young college students stay with us. One of them had said, quite loudly, 'no mean yes and yes means anal' and everyone laughed. It's really sad and pathetic that rape is becoming something that can be joked about now whereas it wasn't before. I don't know if sex ed could curtail this, but it seems to be the best shot apart from decent parenting.

 

[Romero]

If this is left for parents to teach, many kids will not learn nothing before it's too late. I was very young when my mom taught me what happens with a girl's body at a certain point, but as for sex I didn't learn nothing. I picked up bits from mass media (mostly films), friends, and lastly in "body education" classes one of the last years at elementary school (the 8th or 9th year).

Yes, begin with 'this is a penis and this is a vagina and this is how babies are made', but it has to become more sophisticated than that.

That was what school taught us. And about diseases and how to use most of the common types of contraception.

And as for same-sex sex, it was never mentioned - not at school and not anywhere else. I had almost became an adult before I understood that homosexuality was real and not just something used for vulgar insults. And even then I didn't quite understand how a man could possibly infect another man with HIV. Eventually I understood that too. I'll not go into details here, but if I should happen to think that some forms of sex are more gross than others, it may have a connection to what I learned at what point in life. It's probably easier to accept things the earlier in life you learn about it.

 

[Spikeyroxas]

I think it should be responsibly taught in schools and by parents.

I'm sick of hearing about parents there days, (I'm speaking freely here and don't mean all parents as a whole)
But they are so lazy lately, no discipline, no teaching and no time. Im shocked to see those vids of a child swearing and everyone laughing at it and encouraging it.
Same with sex ed, your kids are your problem and you should be making sure they know about these things.

So,
Parents should be teaching them but I'm glad for teachers to do so instead if they are too lazy to do it themselves. At least the child might benefit a little this way

 

[Meg]

Both. Not everyone has parents that will talk about it with them truthfully. But schools also have to do a good job too. I think it's less about who talks to kids about it and more what is actually being said. Like, if your being told "Don't have sex. You will get pregnant. And die." Does it really matter who told you? No. What matters is that you weren't given good information.

I do think that the health/gym teacher shouldn't be the one to do it. I think it should be the school nurse or something like that.

 

[Springhosen]

I do think that the health/gym teacher shouldn't be the one to do it. I think it should be the school nurse or something like that.

I agree, gym teachers are too close and maybe even school nurses too. I remember when we were getting further into the "sex talk" at school the ladies gym teacher, Coach Hall, basically outlined oral sex briefly before saying: "If I catch or hear about one of you girls doing it, I'm kicking your ass." Now, while the threat of pain and a good ass-kicking is awfully effective, I think that the person giving the talk at school should be a pretty impartial party; someone who doesn't know the students intimately and can give you the facts in a clinical and professional manner. I know it's not true for everyone but, in my case, parents get personal enough for everyone concerned.

 

[Storyofmylife]

I think the school systems should educate kids on all sorts of sex. Luckily, my parents gave me the birds and the bees speech, but I uh... did my own research on condoms/protection. There's a lot the young LGBTQ community needs to know as well. WE MUST EDUCATE ALL THE YOUNG PEOPLES! Good thread good stuff!

 

[Meg]

I agree, gym teachers are too close and maybe even school nurses too. I remember when we were getting further into the "sex talk" at school the ladies gym teacher, Coach Hall, basically outlined oral sex briefly before saying: "If I catch or hear about one of you girls doing it, I'm kicking your ass." Now, while the threat of pain and a good ass-kicking is awfully effective, I think that the person giving the talk at school should be a pretty impartial party; someone who doesn't know the students intimately and can give you the facts in a clinical and professional manner. I know it's not true for everyone but, in my case, parents get personal enough for everyone concerned.

That's an excellent point! I was wondering about that too, actually: if some outsider should come in. I think that would a lot better and students would open up more. Maybe don't even have the teacher in the room. That way, students can ask all the questions they want without feeling like they are being judged by their teachers. I wonder who schools would get? Or would it be a government thing? Hmmmmmm......*thinks*

EDIT: The autocorrect changed "hmmmmm" to "hammy." I love it!

 

[Romero]

Like, if your being told "Don't have sex. You will get pregnant. And die." Does it really matter who told you? No. What matters is that you weren't given good information.

The truth is not good information? :O
I agree with you.

I think the school systems should educate kids on all sorts of sex.

Perhaps you are right, but I'm glad they didn't teach me everything when I was an immature teen, the basics were enough. Not knowing everything was protection for a young brain.

I could have had the same experience as Butters.

 

[KManX89]

It shouldn't be left to the parents, a lot of parents (namely the deeply conservative/religious folk) are anal about their kids having sex to the point they'll spout that "don't have sex until you get married" nonsense that's A)proven time and time again NOT to work for obvious reasons and B)keeps them from hearing important information that'll actually prevent them from garnering unwanted pregnancies/STDs.

Same reason they should drop this Abstinence Only Ed from all schools: all it does is make them more likely to have sex (ever been told you can't have something and it just made you want it even more? Yeah, I thought so), except they're gonna be far less likely to use protection (condoms, birth control, what-have-you) because they're not gonna tell em about it. So yeah, it should be left to the schools, and needs to be taught sooner.